Daughter's & Boyfriends.........

[Lawdwaz]

Thanks for all the replies, I appreciate MOST of them. 

 

All is good.....last night went fine.  I trust her implicitly to make good decisions. 

 

His car has a loud exhaust (friggin' rice burner) and he works construction.

 

She has a great head on her shoulders as far as common sense and book work.  Honor roll since the start 6th grade and one marking period left for high school! 

 

I never had a bit of trouble with mom's or dad's when I was dating........I could tell you some pretty interesting stories about excepting parents you WOULDN'T believe.  But I won't.......

 

I'm going to have THE cleanest guns and SHARPEST knives in town. 

 

 

Edited June 18, 2015 by Lawdwaz

[Elmo]

Because we all know kids don't have sex until they are out of college.(insert tongue in cheek here)

In college, I did "insert tongue in cheek". In quite a few as a matter of fact.

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[Skillet]

Trunk Monkey.

 

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Edited June 18, 2015 by Skillet

[Pygmy]

In college, I did "insert tongue in cheek". In quite a few as a matter of fact.

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<<< Pygmy exercises GREAT RESTRAINT in not posting a lewd reply >>>....

There...I did it...I'm so PROUD of myself...<< SMILE>>....

[ny hunter]

when my oldest brought a boy home I would take them both to dinner down the Bronx and show him I can make him disappear with a phone call.............this was hard for me at first but I realized that her mother and I raised her right.....Kids today are alot more grown up then we were at there age...

[stoneam2006]

My daughters 2 right now so I have years left before this but I will ask for a meeting with the boy beforehand to see his attitude and outlook on life....maybe at a gun range...

[BizCT]

Wasn't there a thread just like this a year or so ago? It might be one of the most posted topics of all time

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[fisher2]

I just wanted to poke in here for a "boyfriend" perspective.

 

When I became friends with my current girlfriend of 1.5 years thus far her mother loved me but once we started dating I was the devil and shouldn't be trusted, I was given warning on this before we told the mother that we started dating. my girlfriend's mother is the "strike fear yadda yadda" type with biker friends and has intimidated every guy out of her daughters life  by being too over the top and too intimidating to people she gets close to and due to how the mother is the daughter fully resents her mother and her brother also resents her mother for the same reason. The son moved 200 miles away and has only visited 4 times since I started to see this girl. and the daughter has plans on going off to the same college as me, getting a dorm, and not coming back. my girlfriend is 20 years old started dating at 17. my girlfriend has depression issues and suicidal pasts that she attributes to feeling like crap because she couldn't keep any close male friends and it took her a few years until she realized it wasn't her, but it was her mothers fault. Now she did have some bad friends and such but the mothers behavior made it so no body stayed around. With all the advice of sharpening knives and flat threatening (i'm assuming and hoping jokingly) I wanted to say from first hand experience the kind of mental abuse a young girl can go through when a parent is way over protective. my girlfriend has been hospitalized 3 times for attempted suicide all of which she blames on not understanding the mother was making her life so bad. 

[growalot]

Good post..teaching and training your daughter warning signs and protection is the best. My kids took karate. Thankfully the State has put in a new law or rules ...he should be signing soon about how assaults and rapes on college campuses are handled. THANK GOD...date rapes are out of control and have been...Parents are clueless because not only are they not reported but you are never told...because of how they are handled shame and fear.

[Deerthug]

Good post..teaching and training your daughter warning signs and protection is the best. My kids took karate. Thankfully the State has put in a new law or rules ...he should be signing soon about how assaults and rapes on college campuses are handled. THANK GOD...date rapes are out of control and have been...Parents are clueless because not only are they not reported but you are never told...because of how they are handled shame and fear.

My daughter also finished a karate course 2 years ago called Tactical Solutions for Defense - which is taught to military and police. Its basically survival and street fighting. She finally learned why God gave her knees and thumbs and now she knows how to use them!

[nyantler]

Agree'd my girls know what " the right thing" is … and I let them have their little dates. But I still don't trust ANY guy with them, and I make my presence known. I just think that a teenager is still a teenager... No matter how much you teach them they are still a naive teenager. But Im sure thats just me……..Im a little paranoid 

 

LOL... I forgot to add that I never had a daughter... just sons... I'm sure things might have been the same with me if I had daughters.

Edited June 18, 2015 by nyantler

[wdswtr]

The toughest part is the broken heart.  I thought my daughter dating was tough, man you havent seen tough until you deal with a teenager with a busted heart.  Im glad those days are over.  Now Im dealing with the oldest boy who is 18 that is worse than any teenage girl I ever seen when it comes to his girlfriend, he brings a whole new meaning to the word P-Whipped.  Its just sickening to listen to and see.  I will take raising girls over boys any day.   Both boys are just absolutely pathetic when it comes to girls.

[Cabin Fever]

Experiencing the same thing! My daughter just turned 16... YIKES! Have to give them some freedom and trust that they'll make the right decisions. I make my presence and unpredictability known, so they never know where or when I might show up. I know what I was like at that age, so I don't expect her to be an angel, but I also don't want to be on the next season of "16 and Pregnant" either!

 

My older son keeps an eye on her social media and keeps me informed of anything I should know about. Being a good big brother, he's concerned and looks out for her too! I have her convinced that I have a "special program" on my computer that monitors social media and gives met automatic updates.

[Cabin Fever]

LOL... I forgot to add that I never had a daughter... just sons... I'm sure things might have been the same with me if I had daughters.

Trust me, there is a BIG HUGE difference!! LOL

[growalot]

All I can say is Proms!!!!

Edited June 19, 2015 by growalot

[Five Seasons]

Why say no? I know why you said no... but wouldn't you rather get out there and meet a nice guy or be a lonely old lady someday? As a father you need to let your kids go and do what makes them happy, within reason of course.

 

On the flip side, the wildest, *cough* loosest girls i met in college had overly protective fathers.

[Fantail]

Get a guard cat that will rip out his junk if he gets fresh.

 

This also reminds me of one of the early challenges of raising teenage daughters, taking them shopping for clothes.

[phade]

Live a life worth emulating.

 

 

[Two Track]

One daughter of mine is very ticklish, so she comes with a built-in alert system.  Just no where near dating age... yet.  Since she was at least nine, she has figured out guy's weak points to hit.  She is loud a lot so if she's quiet, something maybe up.  She is like a human GPS.   Been there once, she can get you back there again - so if someone tries to divert where they are going, she will know when it is not right very quickly and say something.

 

To bad my son is graduating this year, otherwise he would be looking out for the soon to be freshman next year.  She is not into the social media thing at all.  She uses a tablet (Kindle) for reading, candy crush, and Pinterest for project ideas - otherwise not a computer fan (usually has the school computer crash on her and loses her work). 

 

She can be tough - played a little lacrosse against her brother for fun (with pads ,etc) boys style.  She tried the girls version, didn't like it - no contact and no pads (especially helmets).  Team members were not following the rules and she took two hits to the head as a result with the lacrosse ball.

 

The getting hit in the head without anything other than a pair a goggles really turned her off.  She and her brother use to bash each others sticks and arm pads to knock the ball free from each other, so she was not wimping out.  Having balls flying at your face without protection is not fun (like playing catcher without a face mask and helmet).

 

They both can dish out some pain if they have too.

 

I do have software that I can install on a Windows or Mac PC from the police dept to monitor things if need be.  They may still give it out for free if you ask for a copy to monitor your kids computer usage.

 

Once they are out of the house, it will be harder to not worry about them.  Establish a particular time and day(s)  to check in with each other until you are both comfortable with perhaps just a Sunday evening phone call later on.  We did this last year with my son spending 6-7 weeks at Harvard taking classes last summer.  He had to let us know if was going off-campus, where that place was, and when he would most-likely get back (suburb kid in a city taking subway from Harvard to Boston for concerts and shows for the first time).  We had plenty worry about with him away - his food allergies, taking public transportation for the first-time, advocating for himself (has learning disability), and his lack of sense of direction(gets lost).

 

We will be more relaxed this Fall for him as he has had 5 campus visits already and he will have an on-campus internship in July to learn the campus and area better.  He will be taking the train to campus as it is only a part-time gig.  He already has experienced some college-life as attending college in the summer while a high school student (and has 8 Harvard credits to show for it - 4 in theoretical physics).  He did take part in campus events there (movie, semi-formal dance, etc), and use resources as need (tutor for complex calculus equations, campus security for lost keys).  He will also be closer to home 1.5-2 hours vs 6-7 hours if something came up, or come home for the holidays.

[Curmudgeon]

Reminiscing on Father's Day this morning, I recall when my daughter was 15 wishing this thing had come with some sort of operator's manual. I had no idea what to do with it.

 

Having lived through that period, she is now a wonderful, successful adult.

Edited June 21, 2015 by Curmudgeon

[Lawdwaz]

Reminiscing on Father's Day this morning, I recall when my daughter was 15 wishing this thing had come with some sort of operator's manual. I had no idea what to do with it.

 

Having lived through that period, she is now a wonderful, successful adult.

 

Congratulations on a job well done.

[grampy]

For the most part, if you raise em up right they will turn out to be fine adults. Those tween and teen years are where we all made mistakes, and most of us turned out ok. Didn't we?.........

[Lawdwaz]

Always has to be a downer in the crowd........sheesh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[GreeneHunter]

And yet another A$$H*** !

[Jeremy K]

Tell'em Ricky Bobby