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So whats the funniest thing youve ever heard or experienced while out hunting/fishing etc


Robhuntandfish
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  One of my fishing buddies was looking across the lake and squinting .  I asked him what are you looking at??  he said "look at the rack on that gal in the orange..."  So i look over and she is wearing one of those orange life preservers..... lol  wow laughed til it hurt!

 

4 of us go out fishing - 2 of us in each boat.  We have walkie talkies.  So the guy with me says before we leave - lets keep some bass over 15" .  So of course I catch a 14".  So he gets on the walkie to tell them lets keep 14".  But no answer from the other guys.  tries a few times no answer. Then we realize we forgot our life vests.  So we say well lets go see if they have any extras in their boat.  So we row over and their boat is half full of water and stuff floating all over in it so apparently they needed the lifevests more than us anyway.  We ask what happened and they cant even get it out without laughing.  So come to find out -- they caught a bass, both of them leaned over to get it at the same time and the boat started filling up with water and almost flipped and went down.  They had water in the rowboat up to the seats.  So they started bailing with the only thing they had - empty beer cans.  So they look up and some guy on shore saw the whole thing.  lol  So I am with the father of one of the guys in my boat and it was his boat they were using.   They get to the dock and my buddy says " 40 years old and my Dad lets me take out his boat for the first time ever and I almost sunk it!"  and his Dad says -- "well maybe we can try again when your 50!"      yup - all of us dying on the dock, laughing .  And the best part was on the way back in their half sunken boat they decided to troll and caught the biggest walleye of the weekend.  

gotta love it- thats what those times in the outdoors are all about, we laughed all night and still do! 

Edited by Robhuntandfish
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A old coonhunter I knew who has since passed was out hunting one night and lost his dog. (This was before the days of tracking systems). So he walks back to his truck and drives around the block stopping occasionally to listen for the dog. He would wait for a  little bit, drive some more, wait a little bit, and drive some more. This went on for about four hours and since he couldn't hear him anywhere decided to give it up and try again first thing in the morning.

He pulls in his driveway shuts the truck off and the dog jumped out of the back. At one of the times he stopped the dog jumped in and he never knew it was there. Who knows how long he was driving around with him in the back:taunt:

Edited by Steve D
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I was duck hunting with my uncle, who had only hunted ducks once or twice in his life.

After a slow morning on one swamp, we drove to another to check it out and spotted a single bird swimming around at the far end..

It seemed to be the only game in town, so we planned a stalk..

We emerged from cover within range of the bird and I saw my uncle standing, gun ready, looking at it...I immediately realized it was  a coot rather than a duck, not worth shooting, so I said to Uncle Rodger,  " Coot"....

BANG !!  He plastered the bird on the water....Somewhat taken aback, I said  " Didn't you hear me say it was a coot  ?"

Uncle Rodger, who didn't know a coot from a canvasback, said  " Coot  ?   I thought you said SHOOT !! "

True story.....

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Three guys in a 15' Coleman canoe coming back with two deer in the boat along the Erie canal. There wasn't more than an inch of 'freeboard', and a beaver starts calmly swimming along beside us just checking out the situation.The beaver starts to slap his tail on the water, repeatedly, as if he was intentionally trying to swamp the boat. Of course my buddy takes a swing at the beaver with his paddle. Let's just say the ballast was suddenly redistributed and we all went swimming. We weren't far away from safety and my truck had a good heater so we all survived, and I imagine the ghost of the beaver is still getting a chuckle out of it as well.

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One time I decided to take my G/F with me woodchuck hunting on my bro-in-laws family farm.

We could see the chucks dotting the field from the road when we pulled in, so I wasted no time holding her hand once the car door shut.

I made a quick run around the barn and down the tractor path where my skinny azz slipped through the fence and into the cow pasture. She was a bit of a curvey gal that couldn't quite keep up with my bunny like speed, so being the gentleman that I am, I rushed her along from the pasture as she chugged down the dirt road to the field edge.

 

Keeping my eyes on the chucks, I turned around at the last second when she finally caught up and grabbed ahold of the electric fence with both hands to crawl through the strands!  I thought I was gonna have to kick her in the ass to get her to let go as her body stood there trembling from how ever many volts of electricity were lighting her up! That was the ABSOLUTE funniest thing I've ever seen in my life!

I was laughing so hard I was crying......, and she was crying just because I think she lost all control of her bodily functions and fluids,lol.

 

 

 

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When I was about 15, our parents took the family to Walt Disney world, where we stayed for a week in at Fort Wilderness campground.  I was more into the Florida Largemouth bass fishing than the rides at Magic Kingdom, so  one morning I rented a canoe at the trading post.   I paddled up small canal, to a wide area with a weed bed across the back.  I had read in magazines to watch for birds to show you where the fish were, and there was a great blue heron perched there at the edge of the weeds.

I was not real good then with my new Garcia Ambassador 5500 reel, loaded with 20 pound test, and my first cast sort of got away from me, clear over the heron.  I tried to stop it with thumb pressure, but could only watch as the big purple plastic worm looped a few times around the big bird's neck.

Disturbed by the situation, the heron took flight, and an "aerial battle" began.   It got up pretty high, before taking all the slack out of the line, then came crashing down.   A tram passed by. loaded with kids.   There was some yells and possibly pictures taken, as they noted the unorthodox wildlife activity.   I took off my windbreaker and attempted to cover the bird and remove the hook.  The line broke and it took of again with the worm and a few feet of line still attached.   Looking back, it is kind of funny, but not so much at the time.  I never did catch any bass there.         

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1 hour ago, wooly said:

One time I decided to take my G/F with me woodchuck hunting on my bro-in-laws family farm.

We could see the chucks dotting the field from the road when we pulled in, so I wasted no time holding her hand once the car door shut.

I made a quick run around the barn and down the tractor path where my skinny azz slipped through the fence and into the cow pasture. She was a bit of a curvey gal that couldn't quite keep up with my bunny like speed, so being the gentleman that I am, I rushed her along from the pasture as she chugged down the dirt road to the field edge.

 

Keeping my eyes on the chucks, I turned around at the last second when she finally caught up and grabbed ahold of the electric fence with both hands to crawl through the strands!  I thought I was gonna have to kick her in the ass to get her to let go as her body stood there trembling from how ever many volts of electricity were lighting her up! That was the ABSOLUTE funniest thing I've ever seen in my life!

I was laughing so hard I was crying......, and she was crying just because I think she lost all control of her bodily functions and fluids,lol.

 

 

 

Did you get a second date?

Edited by philoshop
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To build on Wooly's 'electrifying' story, did any of you, ahem, advanced fishermen ever have the electric worm-getters? We used them all the time. Wood handle and a steel rod with the hot AC wire taped to it. Shove it into the ground and up come the nightcrawlers.  Having your buddy dare you to grab it or pee on it was the drawback. Especially if you were stupid. I was a teenager, I have an excuse.

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I’m a fan of newbies wanting to hunt turkeys. I always tell them turkeys can smell better than deer. You have good scentlock right ? 

Wooly , similar electric fence story.  30 years ago dinorocks and I were driving out in the middle of nowhere fishing any hole we could see. His car started to heat over. Oh cool , an electric fence. As we waited for car to cool down. I grabbed the electric fence for a few seconds.  Then he did. It wasn’t too daring until I then did it while sitting on the metal guardrail zapping me right through the nads. I’m truly surprised I didn’t go sterile as that crap hurt my junk for days 

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I’m a fan of newbies wanting to hunt turkeys. I always tell them turkeys can smell better than deer. You have good scentlock right ? 
Wooly , similar electric fence story.  30 years ago dinorocks and I were driving out in the middle of nowhere fishing any hole we could see. His car started to heat over. Oh cool , an electric fence. As we waited for car to cool down. I grabbed the electric fence for a few seconds.  Then he did. It wasn’t too daring until I then did it while sitting on the metal guardrail zapping me right through the nads. I’m truly surprised I didn’t go sterile as that crap hurt my junk for days 
Is that why Young Turkey Poult looks so much like the mailman than you?

You Can't Beat My Meat!!!

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Back in the mid-80s, four of us guys from work went on a moose bowhunting trip. We went to a place in Ontario Canada called Shining Tree. That was the location of our outfitter's camp (legally compulsory). We got our licenses and then drove for miles on some dirt road to a good sized lake, parked the trucks, unloaded an 8 foot motor boat which towed two canoes a few miles to the other end of the lake, a 150 yard portage into another lake and then all the way to the end of that lake. We pulled up to an open spot on the shore and pitched a tent camp. We were in deep!

 

Now, flash back a few weeks before we left. I had a dog that loved to play tug-of-war with an old towel. While she was doing this, she would work up a terrible low growl with snarling and all kinds of menacing sounds that were absolutely ferocious. So using a portable tape recorder, I taped a long tug-of-war session, and hid the tape player in my sleeping bag.

 

So that first night in camp jillions of miles from anywhere, we were all sitting around the campfire swapping stories and remarking how desolate this place was with absolutely no sign of humans or civilization.

 

Pretending that I had to go out into the darkness to take a leak, I snuck the tape player with me. I had put a 15 minute empty leader on the front of the tape so I could get back to the fire and everybody would just forget that I had even been out there.

 

All of a sudden there was this loud, bone-chilling, terrible, snarling, and growling threat coming out of the darkness not all that far from the camp. The damn thing was loud and really quite terrifying. Of course this was a bowhunting trip so there were no guns, and everyone was diving for flashlights, knives, arrows, and any defensive thing they could lay there hands on. The panic was hysterical, but I kept myself under control and played along. 

 

Then with my best conjured up bravado, I volunteered to go out into the darkness and chase the thing away from the camp. Hey man, just like John Wayne. Amazingly enough, the others followed as back-up …… but way-way back. Stalking my way in the pitch darkness, I finally got to the tape player and dove on it and wrestled around on the ground a bit before I finally held up the player and declared the intruder dead.

 

Things got a bit tense for a few minutes as they all discussed throwing me in the lake. But they all took it well and realized that they had been had. Fortunately I didn't wind up in the lake and it is something we still joke about whenever we run into each other.

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One time when I was about 12 my cousin and my uncle and my Dad went to do some bank fishing.  So we found a spot next to the road along the bank and there were quite a few people fishing.  We get set up and throw out a line.  Fished about 15 minutes and my dad is looking to the west sky on the other side of the lake and he says to my uncle ...." I dont like the looks of that black coming across there."  Looking at the storm clouds across the lake.  

My uncle goes to us" kids pack ypur stuff up we gotta go."  My Dad is like looks like we have a few minutes before the storm and my uncle is insisting we go right NOW. So we get in the car and leave. My uncle goes....."Louie you almost got us killed".  My dad said what are you talking about.  

When my dad sad " I don't like the looks of that black coming across there" there was two black guys crossing the road behind us   and they DEF heard him!  My Dad was paying no attention to anything but those storm clouds.  And my uncle said that he decided it was time to go when they went over to a bunch of buddies and were pointing our way.  Good timing Dad. Lol

 

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