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Three men--- one from Florida, one from Texas, and one from New York all die and go to hell.
When they get there they see a big red phone and they asked Satan what it's for, he says it's for calling earth but it's super expensive. The man from Texas says "Great I would love to call my buddies in Dallas." He talks for 2 hours and Satan charges him 2 million dollars. The man from Florida says he would love to call his friends in Miami Beach, so he calls and speaks for 3 hours and satan charges him 3 million. The man from NY says he would love to call his old neighborhood pals in New York City, so he calls and speaks for 4 hours and satan charges him just 4 bucks.
Enraged, the 2 men from Texas and Florida ask Satan why is it so cheap for a call to New York .
Well, says Satan, we had all those years of Cuomo. Then, he was forced out of office, and a goofball incompetent named Kathy Hochul became Governor. Now, between the two of these lefty Democrats, the entire State of New York has gone to hell and it's a local call.
 

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COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 5.6%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that's 23%.

COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%.

ABBOTT: 5.6% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right 5.6% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that's 23%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 23% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that's 5.6%.

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%?

ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed. 23% are out of work.

COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, Biden said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise, it would be 23%.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number.

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a Democrat.

COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said!

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like Biden.

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