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Todays (clean) chuckle


Water Rat

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This is too good to pass up!
Greta Tunberg called on the Chinese to stop using their traditional sticks and save hundreds of trees.
The Chinese advised Greta Thunberg to go back to school, where she will learn that the sticks are made of bamboo, and that bamboo is a plant, not a tree.
And they called her to stop wiping her ass with toilet paper because it’s actually made of wood!
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An old man with hearing problems crashed his car into a very expensive automobile. The owner of the expensive automobile jumps out and confronts the old man and says “Give me $10,000 cash or I will beat you to a pulp!”
The old man replies, “Woah wait buddy, I don’t have that much money but let me call my son, he trains dolphins.”
The old man dials his son and as he is about to speak the owner of the expensive car yanks the phone out of his hand and says “So you train dolphins, well your old man just hit and damaged my car, you bring me $10,000 or I’m gonna beat the heck outta him!”
The son answers “Okay, give me 15 minutes and I’ll be there.” In exactly 15 minutes the son pulls up in a Jeep, Ten men jump out and beat the hell out of the expensive car owner.
Meanwhile the son walks over to his father and says “Dad I train Navy Seals not dolphins"
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2 hours ago, fasteddie said:

May be an image of text that says 'I was thrown out of the break room of my Walmart yesterday. They asked me what I was doing there. I told them I was was on a break. They said you don't work here. I said I'd just finished using the self checkout so clearly I do.'

im not so sure i dont like the self checkout better.  No one complains when i feel like some of my stuff should be free for my trouble.  Kidding.....

But really the other day i used a regular checkout and the gal was more than happy to bag everything , which was great, until the raw pork went in with the lettuce, and a bag of tortilla chips was in the bottom.   yeah.....just let me do it. lol 

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