Grouse

Biden DHS bungles then dismisses deportations for 200k illegals: It's hard to know whether to chalk this up to appalling incompetence or sheer malevolence, but these are your tax dollars at work. Some 200,000 illegal immigrants have had their deportation cases dismissed by so-called immigration judges due to a failure of the Biden administration's Department of Homeland Security to file standard paperwork. As the New York Post reports: "The DHS's failure to file thousands of notices to appear before scheduled hearing dates left courts without jurisdiction to handle deportation cases and rule on asylum claims, according to a report released Wednesday by the Transactional Records Access Clearinghouse at Syracuse University. 'These large numbers of dismissals and what then happens raise serious concerns,' the TRAC report, which includes data through February 2024, states." We wonder: How many of these illegals are potential rapists and murderers, such as Jose Antonio Ibarra, who allegedly bludgeoned nursing student Laken Riley to death? In a case of comical understatement, TRAC, which is a nonpartisan research group, said that the "almost total lack of transparency on where and why these DHS failures occurred" was — wait for it — "troubling." You're telling us. As for what happens to these illegals now, search us. And search the Biden administration, whose DHS didn't respond to the Post's request for comment.

U.S. Sen. Bill Hagerty ripped into Democrats for their “Indefensible” vote that essentially allows American taxpayer dollars to be used to fly illegal migrants to various U.S. towns and cities. Democrats voted in lockstep against Hagerty’s amendment that would bar the use of the funds for the purpose of transporting illegal migrants. “Tonight every single Senate Democrat voted against my amendment that would stop Biden Admin from using taxpayer dollars to charter flights for hundreds of thousands of illegal aliens from their countries directly to American towns to be resettled,” the Tennessee Republican posted on X over the weekend. “Indefensible,” he added. His post prompted a reaction from X owner Elon Musk who aptly wrote, “This is insane!” Hagerty a member of the Senate Appropriations Committee, forced a vote on his amendment to the pending appropriations bill “that would prohibit taxpayer funds from being used to secretly fly illegal aliens from other nations directly into states across the country for resettlement,” according to a press release from his office.

My Mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your sex life; and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs

Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her out of it. Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time? Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home.

Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.

Paddy's in jail. The Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "What the hell you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself", Paddy replies. "It should be around your neck", says the Guard. "I know", says Paddy, "but I couldn't breathe."

Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, 'Not guilty.' 'That's grand!' shouted Reilly. 'Does that mean I can keep the money?' ______________________________

Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road. Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road. Cop says "For God's sake Paddy, that's your air freshener swinging about!

Mick goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy", he tells the vet. Vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me". Mick says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they decide to take them to a police station. Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?" Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

Mick says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards, because I wasn't even home yesterday."

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely naked." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed: "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings (and her clothes) and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked,"What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching the dice."

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. "Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins" shouts one of the drunks. Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross." Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off." She then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?"

"I went into the confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic Church. "Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there was a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall was a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. When the priest came in, I said to him,'Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.' He replied, "You moron, you're on my side."

An Irishman's first drink with his son: "While reading an article last night about fathers and the sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. "Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage. "I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it. "Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that either, so I drank it. Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager? "He didn't. I drank it. "I thought maybe he'd like whisky better than beer so we tried a Jameson's; nope! "In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland 's finest whisky. "He wouldn't even smell it. "What could I do but drink it! "By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so shit-faced I could hardly push his stroller back home!"

1900

Now that's what I call FAITH!