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APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________ SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________ HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______ Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No If No, explain: _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Number of years they have been married ______________________________ If less than your age, explain ____________________________________________ ________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ACCESSORIES SECTION: A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No C. A waterbed? __Yes __No D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No E. A tattoo? __Yes __No F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? (IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.) ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you? __________________________________________________________ ____ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ REFERENCES SECTION: Church you attend ___________________________________________________ How often you attend ________________________________________________ When would be the best time to interview your: father? _____________ mother? _____________ pastor? _____________ SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential. A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: ______________________________________________________________ B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ______________________________________________________________ C: A woman's place is in the: ______________________________________________________________ D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________________________________________________________ E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: _________________________________ _____________________________ F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANTI TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE. _________________________________________________________ Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!) _______________________________ ________________________________ Mother's Signature Father's Signature _______________________________ ________________________________ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back) To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating Daddy's Rules for Dating Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy) : Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.' Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge . Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing or holding hands. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

John won a free ticket to the Super Bowl from work. When he got to the stadium, his seat was in the last row in the corner. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the stadium! He looked down and noticed an empty seat 10 rows up from the 50 yard line. He decides to work his way down to the empty seat. When he sits down, he asks the man next to him, "is anyone sitting here?" The man shook his head NO. John is very excited to have found this seat but wonders why no one is using it. He asks the man if he knows why it is empty. The man replies, "it was my wife's seat, but she passed away. It's the first Super Bowl that we have not attended together since we were married in 1968." John felt really bad and asked, "wasn't there a friend or relative that could have come with you?" "No," the man replied, "they're all at her funeral."

ahh yes the big rally in Albany where if I recall all of the archery instructors said they refuse to teach crossbow. What a crock. I have been doing a bit of research and I was at the meeting. Two or maybe 3 guys said they refuse and the state officials said ok fine then you are no longer certified. How they quickly changed their minds. If they do not teach the curriculum, they are out. Big Tom can puff out his chest and pretend to have connections with power, but it is all false. The state has the power, we don't and of a couple volunteer instructors think they have that much power, they need to talk to someone. Again, it is all of no matter. It will be taught in the gun course, and that has not been officially rolled out for us yet.

1) "huge influx of people"? we should all be so lucky that "huge" hunter numbers were present in any aspect of hunting as that would help us all. Unfortunately hunter numbers are on a steady decline.2) "limits or dangers of handling and usage"? a) limits are similar to any string / limb launched projectile as arrow /bolt will fall quickly as it travels downrange. handling and usage are similar to any weapon that can be locked and loaded, which most gun owners are already familar. I really don't see any major concerns here as the proof lies in the many states where things have gone along just fine.

If they legalize it during the regular archery season, I'll buy one. I use rifle,pistol,bow,shotgun,muzzloader so may as well add another weapon.

Still waiting for the stat's from the crossbow states showing we should have safety concerns.

I have a buddy who now shoots a cross bow during the gun season from a pop up blind. Now for me it sure is not the way to go, at 70 I still can draw and shoot a bow ( both recurve 45lb checkmate or compound at 58 lb bowtech commander. NOW FOR HIM TO USE IT, he has to setup a blind, have a chair, have a camera tri-pod with a special cross piece to hold the bow, the bow is a pse crossbow, with 9 inch limbs, has a auto cocking with a wheel to crank it back, a 4 power rifle scope, it is a very heavy and time consuming to get ready to hunt. No way you can walk and stalk, and very hard for me to see how you could setup in a tree stand. SO this again limits the crossbow. But after seeing him shoot out to 30 yards I think I do almost as well. I can fire 5 arrows to his one at targets. But for him it is god sent as without this he would be another hunter lost to physical / old age. So if they ask me can the cross bow be included in the archery season I sure will support it, because it may be my next requirement as I god willing I grow older.

I have a friend who has MS; so I decided to do some research into the cross-bow issue and some of the statements being made. The first statement being made. “A cross-bow is not a bow”. I thought that could be subjective, but there had to be a definition somewhere. I looked up the definition of a cross-bow in the Webster Dictionary and found that a CROSS-BOW IS A BOW! The next statement being made,” it doesn’t take as much skill to shoot a cross-bow”. What the hell does that mean? Is that supposed to be bad? I would rather see someone with limited practice. Who can shoot a cross-bow well, then the guy who takes out his bow a week before the season, and then wonders why he lost 2 or 3 deer?( it’s ok He’s a bow hunter, also this has been posted on this web site) These two next statements are really good.” A cross- bow shoots faster than a compound bow”. That’s not true. Just look at the 2012 Mathews catalog they have bows that shoot just as fast on 1/3 the draw weight. This one is a good one.” Cross-bow can shoot 1” group a 100yd’s”. I’m not going to say it can’t be done, but there are some factors that have to be taken into consideration first. The first of these factors is Gravity. A bow or cross-bow with a 400gr. Arrow going 350fps and sighted in for 25yds will drop about 8.7ft at 100yds... If you sight in for 100yds the bow or cross-bow would be useless for anything less than 70yds. Then can you kill anything that far? If you can’t then it doesn’t matter how good the group is. Then there is the wind. An arrow has a big surface area it won’t take much wind to blow it off target. (I used a Sierra 6 ballistics program and a high BC level of .700) I found that most of the statements made were either not true or only half truths. My friend is never going to climb into a tree stand again and a draw lock doesn’t work for him. A cross-bow may not work for him but he deserves the opportunity to try one if he wants. I have to admit I have limited experience with a cross-bow. I have only shot one once and found it to be heavy and cumbersome and noisy. To me it is more of a novelty. I’m not going to put 500 to 800 dollars down on one. The only advantage I can see is that it may be a more stable platform then a bow. Let’s hope when cross –bows comes to the archery season those wanting to use cross-bows in the archery season will have to take the bow hunters course

Not sure about "one and done" states but I question your concern for the dissapearence of vertical archery. I presently own a crossbow but only bought it to play with, and as a possible backup to a compound in the future. While injury and old age are things that some vertical bowhunters are concerned with, many of us haven't yet thought much about these things or reached the point in their lives where they can see physical inability as part of their future.That being said if crossbows became legal in archery season here in NY, I would still be going afield with my Bowtech Invasion vertical bow while I'm stil able, and would only relegate myself to the crossbow if I were no longer able to pull my compound. I'm also sure there are many a NY bowhunter that shares my view on this and would choose the compoiund over the crossbow as long as they are able to. Supermen out there; please look to the future as one day this will be in your best interest as well. In the mean time you could also help support the ability of seniors to get back in the game while they still have some time left.

I really enjoyed hunting with a xbow this year, even if it was just the gun season. I missed a big doe when the limb of the x bow hit my bow hangar. The deer was in back of my ladder stand. Never had a problem with my vertical compound bow....hitting things. Also my arrows from my vbow didn't drop as fast as the crossbow. Why the xbow? couple of reasons.....where I hunt is 500 feet from any house, but I won't shoot,, a firearm, don't want to even chance a errent shot. I had a problem with my right eye and loss of sight, forcing me to shoot left handed and not very well with my vbow, could have ended my hunting if not for the new xbow legislation. I'm old, 65 and have strength issues but how many people have problems drawing back a vert bow to the relaxed position, with enough poundage to cleanly harvest a game animal? When I had a camp in the Southern Tier and was archery hunting, I would have loved others hunting with bows and crossbows ....to move some deer around. I just feel people who are against xbows have lame ideas about what hunting is.....for me no matter what the weapon, it's a personal feat and challange.

It is amazing how the compound has become traditional in some peoples eyes. I remember the same arguments when compounds became the thing to have, that recurves and long bows were traditional. KInd of like the flintlock had given way to the inline. It is time to open the door to the newest oldest technology.

being an archery nut I was against them but seeing my dad hasn't picked up a bow in a long time and I'm sure there are many guys in his situation, it would be nice to see them hunting the archery season again. I'm for it.

then you should be against compounds, and set aside a special season for them as well.My Bowtech Invasion compound is a technological wonder bow; light years ahead of traditional.

a doctor can "certify" just about anything these days. medical marajuana can be certified to treat a toe injury. that becomes an issue where nothing is gained to separate abled from disabled.Therefore because of the obvious deception and corruption that will take place in obtaining a "doctor certified" "handicapped" status, the only reasonable conclusion is to do what other states have done and include all hunters. There have been no repercusions in these states where full crossbow rights have been given to all. In these states all has been just fine for decades of crossbowing. Your answer includes separation of hunters through corrupt means; mine speaks to inclusion and unity.