Hunting Stories! Who's got em?

[burmjohn]

I always love a good hunting story.  Who's got one they would like to share?!

[TheHunter]

I'd like to hear a few!

[JCTheGC]

Last season I was out on my property.  I had to take a crap like no other. It was more of a boozing crap, because the night before we were up late drinking, having a good time.  Got about 3 hrs of sleep, then had some coffee.  At about 9 am, I had to shimmy down my stand, because i was about to crap my pants.  I made it about 200 yards away from my stand, started to slowly taken down my pants, then I realized that the toilet paper was in my back back, back at the stand.  Oh Crap!  So I rip a huge fire crap, have no TP, I proceed to cut my under shit off to use as toilet paper.  Thank god I have a knife, otherwise it would have been ruff leafs.  Anyways, I made it out OK, and only lost a hanes white t-shirt.  Moral of the story is to bring toilet paper everywhere, you never know when she is going to blow! And in my case, it was a blow out.

[Doc]

The Big Moose Hunt Monster

I told this story on the old Empire Forum, but we have a lot of new members, so I thought I would post it again.

Back in the mid-80's, three other guys from work and myself decided to go on a do-it-yourself moose hunt in Ontario Canada. We took an entire year to plan the thing, and we we were determined not to forget a thing. We grabbed onto everything moose hunting related in magazines and studied topo maps and freeze dried food, and glommed onto just about any scrap of information we could find over that entire year of preparation.

The trip took us to an outfitter (required by law) who supplied us with tags and little a cabin which we never used. From the outfitters camp, we took dirt roads for another bunch of hours to a fairly remote lake. We loaded up our two canoes and a 10' aluminum boat and small motor and took off with the boat pulling the two canoes. We went to the end of that lake and did a short 150 yard portage into another lake and then motored to the end of that one. We were in pretty deep with absolutely no sight or sound of another human being. We set up a camp on the lake shore pretty much in the vicinity of the rivers and swamp areas that we intended to hunt.

There was one little wrinkle that only I knew about. At home, we had a family dog that just like any dog, loved to play tug-of-war with any old towel or rag. While doing that she always made some of the most viscious sounding growling and snarling noises. I took a small portable tape player/recorder, and made a tape that was blank for the first 15 minutes and then filled with these deep gutteral growling noises. She sounded about 6 times bigger than she actually was and put on a hell of a show for the tape recorder. I rewound the tape and stuffed the player and tape into my sleeping bag.

So on the first night we got the camp all set up, had supper and were sitting around the campfire talking away and enjoying the atmosphere of total isolation and complete remoteness of this place that had no disturbances other than a pair of otters swimming back and forth in the lake and the occasional splashing around in the swamp on the other side of the lake, which I assume was a moose. Finally when it was pitch dark, and I pretended to head off into the darkness to answer the call of nature. In reality, I went out and planted the tape player, turned the volume up, and walked back to the campfire. The 15 minute leader of silence did it's work, giving everyone a chance to forget that I even had gone out there. All of a sudden there was this gosh-awful, terrifying, vicious growling and snarling that began from out in the darkness. I slipped into my best "actor" mode and suppressed the laughter at all the panicked reactions. There was a whole lot of scrambling going on as everybody dove for their bows and knives and anything else they could arm themselves with. Finally, we all stood there in kind of a skirmish line waiting for the attack. Of course, nothing happened other than the continuation of the ferocious growling and snarling. So finally, in my best John Wayne impersonation, I volunteered to go out there and chase off whatever it was. Everybody tried to talk me out of it, but I was determined. So finally all four of us started creeping through the darkness getting closer and closer to the camp intruder. When we were practically on top of it, I dove on the tape player with a fake struggle and came up clutching the machine and declaring victory. There was a bit of silence until everyone realized what had happened and then came the swearing, name-calling and laughing. I think I might have come close to getting thrown in the lake.

That was a lot of years ago and still everytime I run into one of these guys, we laugh about the camp-monster in Canada.

By the way, a couple of days later, we did get a bull moose. The whole trip was a great success. The great pike and walleye fishing ...... all the different critters that we saw ..... and a moose ....... and even the successful capture of the great Canadian camp-monster.

Doc

[burmjohn]

Hahah great story.

[ELMER J. FUDD]

One morning during gun season, about 15 minutes before legal shooting hours, a big buck with some headgear walked under my stand and I didn't shoot it. Within 10 minutes, He worked his way down to my damn truck! I just bought the truck from an old adirondack "mountain man" the real deal. I detailed it, and I remember a bad smell. After the buck went right up to the driver side door and sniffed it, I realized it smelled like deer urine or something. I remember the guys grandson telling me that his grandpa had more deer in the back of that truck "than we'll see in a lifetime". It must've been tarsals??? I shampoo'd the crap out of it too. The funny thing is I started grunting, bleating, whatever as it walk away and he kept looking back like " yeah, f*ck you the goods are in the truck!". That would've been a funny hunting show episode... 

[burmjohn]

Haha...

[Doewhacker]

I got a few but here is just one...

A few years ago we were heading home after getting one when we get stopped and checked. It was right around when they switched to the newer tags, my old man gets called over and the CO says, "This tag is filled out all wrong you have the date marked twice and no month down. What are you doing? Have you ever killed a deer before?" With out hesitation my dad looks him in the eye with a serious look and says "Do you mean today or this week?" The CO chuckled and let us go with just a warning. We still laugh about that one, thankfully the CO had a sense of humor and could tell it was an honest mistake.

[Fantail]

Recent thread in the Gun hunting section - a few posts about Ithaca Deerslayers reminded me about an old hunter I once knew. His name was "Jim". Don't recall the last name. About 10 years past I shared a lease in Wayne Co. Off an old farm. Well of course there was neigboring property - woods. For a few years running durring reg season I'd hear this unique shotgun roar. But it was only 1 shot, once a year. On one hunt close to the property border creeping up on lunch time and a snow storm comming in I ran into this guy, and we introduced ourselves. Jim, didn't appear to be a normal hunter. He wore a pair of dark cord pants, a plaid jacket and one of those Russian looking hats. He didn't believe in using camo. Well I invited him over to camp for fresh coffee and lunch. We had a decent conversation. Found out he served in Korea. But he didn't get into to many details about that. He didn't hunt Turkey or bother with small game. He never bothered with modern stands or climbers, the only blind he bothered with was a few made out of sticks & branches. He would just get into his section of woods, and once a year for the time being I'd hear that Ithaca go off, and knew Jim had his deer.