How to tell a friend he isn't doing it right.

[chas0218]

43 minutes ago, growalot said:

Perhaps the shooting anything is a reaction to those guys that are "brutal" to him. His way of saying I won't be intimidated on my own land. If it were me .....I'd have booted them down the drive and been done with it...

Some people tend to cut off their nose to spite their face...

As far as butchering...invite him.over for a beer and to keep you company while you cut up.one of your own before having dinner with him....

Those other guys don't hunt his land because he, his brother, and sister shoot everything under the sun. The dinner idea isn't bad get the wives and kids together almost like I meant to have them over for dinner.

[chas0218]

34 minutes ago, Belo said:

I agree and disagree. Are you blunt with your wife when she asks if she looks fat in her dress? Point is, despite what we say, dudes can be sensitive. There's not a whole lot of things more manly then killing and butchering a deer. So a guy that might not be doing it right can be touchy. Someone new to something and asking for help will be receptive. A veteran hunter can be very set in their ways and bluntly showing him he's been doing it wrong all these years might not be the route I take. I agree with the ball busting/subtle hint approach.

For example. You're both drinking beers and he's skinning his 4 pointer. You see he leaves a big chunk of meat somewhere. "hey bro, look at all that meat there. Let me show you my trick". He might tell you to f off, but I bet next time he skins one alone he remembers that method.

Very true. You guys have have been giving me some great ideas.

[stubby68]

35 minutes ago, Belo said:

I agree and disagree. Are you blunt with your wife when she asks if she looks fat in her dress? Point is, despite what we say, dudes can be sensitive. There's not a whole lot of things more manly then killing and butchering a deer. So a guy that might not be doing it right can be touchy. Someone new to something and asking for help will be receptive. A veteran hunter can be very set in their ways and bluntly showing him he's been doing it wrong all these years might not be the route I take. I agree with the ball busting/subtle hint approach.

For example. You're both drinking beers and he's skinning his 4 pointer. You see he leaves a big chunk of meat somewhere. "hey bro, look at all that meat there. Let me show you my trick". He might tell you to f off, but I bet next time he skins one alone he remembers that method.

Yes I don't sugar coat anything for anyone. Life is not sugar coated so why should candy things up just to not hurt someone's feelings. Not my problem if they want to be sensitive and not handel reality. Everyone in my life knows this and expects it from me. If they don't like it they can leave

[Five Seasons]

On ‎1‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 11:56 AM, stubby68 said:

Yes I don't sugar coat anything for anyone. Life is not sugar coated so why should candy things up just to not hurt someone's feelings. Not my problem if they want to be sensitive and not handel reality. Everyone in my life knows this and expects it from me. If they don't like it they can leave

and there's nothing wrong with that approach. But if you have friends, I'm guessing the circle is small and furthermore you may be considered an a55hole amongst them.

I tell it how it is too, but there is a time and place to have some compassion and tact. I have liberal friends. I choose friendship over politics when things get heated. Not everything has to be a fight.

If chas approaches this like a big dick, he could be out a hunting spot. Is it worth it?

Edited January 9, 2017 by Belo

[NYBowhunter]

27 minutes ago, Belo said:

and there's nothing wrong with that approach. But if you have friends, I'm guessing the circle is small and furthermore you may be considered an a55hole amongst them.

I tell it how it is too, but there is a time and place to have some compassion and tact. I have liberal friends. I choose friendship over politics when things get heated. Not everything has to be a fight.

If chas approaches this like a big dick, he could be out a hunting spot. Is it worth it?

Sorry but theres no hunting spot in this world or any person that will change the way i approach things. Im not going to tippy toe and sugar coat for the sake of keeping a hunting spot or to not hurt someones feeling. Tell it the way it is, if person cant handle it so be it. I was always taught to say it the way it is and to the persons face, maybe its an Italian cultural thing. Im not gonna tell you something to your face to appease you or to not hurt your feelings and than actually think something different behind your back. But by all means im not condoning being an ass about it, just be honest.

[Five Seasons]

I'm not saying to tippy toe around anything. Chas was never asked for his opinion. If the guy brought it up and asked for help then sure... say it straight. I would.

But to go out of your way to point out someone's flaws?

Edited January 9, 2017 by Belo

[chas0218]

1 hour ago, Belo said:

But to go out of your way to point out someone's flaws?

My reason for asking the question on here.

 

It's like going up to your wife or girlfriend and saying hey your cooking sucks and you really need to stop wearing that yellow shirt you look like a school bus in it.

Edited January 9, 2017 by chas0218

[NYBowhunter]

1 hour ago, Belo said:

I'm not saying to tippy toe around anything. Chas was never asked for his opinion. If the guy brought it up and asked for help then sure... say it straight. I would.

But to go out of your way to point out someone's flaws?

Opinion /flaws or what not , you wouldnt approach a friend and point out what he maybe doing wrong and offer up suggestions? For people to say they cant give or take honest criticism,  i say then they arent a true friend. Maybe hes not a true friend, just someone to keep close for the sake of a hunting spot. Only chas would know that. In any instance, i would still say something in a honest tactful manner . For christs sake its one friend to another trying to help the other with his butchering skills and to potentially stop the waste of venison.  Obviously if this guy shot 8 deer and waste approx. 15 lbs per deer, you do the math. It would be a crime not to help or make mention.

[Elmo]

"Dag, bro!  You're only getting 40 lbs of meat?  I'm getting something like 60 lbs.  You must not be doing something right."

 

Seriously...if someone is going to be completely butt hurt by that I'm going have to start calling them a Millennial.

 

But if you think they're going to have issues then one thing you can do is you can pretend you discovered this new way to butcher deer that yields a lot more meat that you simply have to show him.  Tell him you never new about this "new" technique until recently.  Show him how to butcher deer.  Take the high road if or whenever he turns the table on you with a "You call that a new technique?  I've been doing that for years" comment by responding with "I didn't know...I never done it this way."

Edited January 9, 2017 by Elmo

[chas0218]

11 minutes ago, Elmo said:

"Dag, bro!  You're only getting 40 lbs of meat?  I'm getting something like 60 lbs.  You must not be doing something right."

 

Seriously...if someone is going to be completely butt hurt by that I'm going have to start calling them a Millennial.

 

But if you think they're going to have issues then one thing you can do is you can pretend you discovered this new way to butcher deer that yields a lot more meat that you simply have to show him.  Tell him you never new about this "new" technique until recently.  Show him how to butcher deer.  Take the high road if or whenever he turns the table on you with a "You call that a new technique?  I've been doing that for years" comment by responding with "I didn't know...I never done it this way."

I agree and made this comment once before and he just looked at me funny like I don't know how to weigh my meat.

[NYBowhunter]

22 minutes ago, chas0218 said:

I agree and made this comment once before and he just looked at me funny like I don't know how to weigh my meat.

Sounds to me like a Mr. Know it all, with people like that its a loosing battle. Right or wrong, its thier way or the highway...lol

[The_Real_TCIII]

Tell him youll dispose of his deer after hes done and then take the 20lbs he left

[Paula]

6 hours ago, The_Real_TCIII said:

Tell him youll dispose of his deer after hes done and then take the 20lbs he left

That's the best response!

[Five Seasons]

23 hours ago, NYBowhunter said:

Sounds to me like a Mr. Know it all, with people like that its a loosing battle. Right or wrong, its thier way or the highway...lol

there's a lot of men, and hunters even more so that think they know it all. This guys clearly falls into that category. Level of friendship is important here, but again I do have very close friends where we share different beliefs.

To say this guy isn't a true friend if he can't handle criticism is fair but I still am not going out of my way to point it out. As myself and few others have said, there's a way to go about it.