To Funny

[erussell]

Someone sent this to me the other day and I got a good laugh out of itand thought I would pass it on.

You can't leave us country kids alone for too long or we get creative...

Where do Bomb Techs come from

As a child growing up in Texas ....

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little bad-ass

compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our

land

sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know

that

a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes

down?

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of

Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up

T-shirt

doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows

all

over the place.

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows

into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the

carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light

bulb went off in my head...

I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably

just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather

like myself, Ether really doesn't "sound" flammable.

So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder

for muzzle loader rifles). At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and

opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit

around the Ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex

and 16 oz Ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?

You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too.

Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek

and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow.

In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see mydad getting out of the truck... OH S--T!

He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go

from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF

look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the

starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can.

Oh S—t!

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual

compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of

sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and

I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I

could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders,

and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE

FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going

into the pasture. Notice I said "was".

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of myshoes with my Thundercats T-Shirt

shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam

flashback: "ECHO BRAVO....CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!!

CEASE FIRE. DAMN IT CEASE FIRE!!!!"

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway.

All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a

slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a

Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders

aredrooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something.

I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it

would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp

pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process

for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR

and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been bitching

about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality,

either from the blast or the beating, or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery.

It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

Yep, I now work for the bomb squad in LA.

[growalot]

hahaha

[fasteddie]

That is sooo funny !

[josephmrtn]

LOL LOL ive never been THAT bad....

[WNYBuckHunter]

lmao thats funny stuff

[wmig2]

LOL

[Fletch]

Boy that brings back memories of really stupid stuff i did with my friends when I was a kid. Like aerosaul cans into the fire and haul a$$, the things we would burn, blow up and whatnot... only had the fire department out to the house once though by the time I was 10!!! Amazed we survived ...and we did not even were bike helmets!!