Pygmy Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 If a parsley farmer doesn't pay his taxes, will they garnish his wages ? If a cannibal eats a clown, will he taste funny ? What is the speed of dark ? I guess I'm getting tired of the long winter ( DAMN this global warming). I'm getting even more squirrelly than I USUALLY am...<sigh>... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fasteddie Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Try these --- If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your 2 cents worth then someone somewhere is making a penny . I put instant coffee in the microwave and it almost went back in time . If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide , is it considered a Hostage Situation ? I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension . If toast always lands butter side down , and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it ? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nyantler Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 (edited) I came home to find that every item in my house had been stolen...and replaced with exact duplicates. Edited March 27, 2014 by nyantler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philoshop Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 I came home to find that every item in my house had been stolen...and replaced with exact duplicates. That's spooky! When I got home I put the key in the lock, turned it, and it started. I walked to the bar to figure things out. Vintage Steven Wright. My favorite is, "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I don't think so." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pygmy Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 I know..I should have included a bibliography. My apologies to Steven Wright. I'm a HUGE fan..Pun intended...<<smile>>.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg54 Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 And after a long winter, the crowd awaits with breathless anticipation the unveiling of the Obama statue 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Five Seasons Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Speed of dark is exactly the speed of light as darkness is the absence of light and when the light leaves making it dark... It leaves at the speed of light. Sorry I'm drinking and bored at the airport. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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