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 I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on e-bay any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door. 
 
I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.
 
I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchase the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on e-bay) and put it in the CENTER of the yard.
 
Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.
 
I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT charged me.
 
Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel. Everyone moves out of way and security can't pat us down.
 
Safe at last – only in USA!

 

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