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Satire, but with the Left's record of disastrous unintended consequences, it may prove accurate.
"We all remember being taught in fifth grade science class that trees were essential to our planet's ecological balance, because while we needed to inhale oxygen, we exhaled carbon dioxide, and trees needed to "inhale" it in order to emit oxygen. A recent report by Dr. Anthony Pouchey, chief climatologist and weight-loss expert with the Centers For Flapdoodle Control, warns that "Green New Deal" efforts to reduce carbon emissions are destroying forests at an alarming rate, as trees become starved for CO2. Accordingly, I am proposing a "save our planet" movement called the "Green Old Deal," where reliance on fossil fuels will be enhanced and promoted. A minor side effect of this effort will be the survival of the American economy, together with our power grids and transportation systems, and anything made of plastic. Are you with me?"
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