The Divorce

[nyantler]

The person who wrote this is a college student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

--We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sinking In!!

[Karpteach]

Very well said! There is hope for this country!

[wooffer]

Verey well stated but he forgot to add that we'll keep "free speach" and they can keep their comments to themselves. After all it was gun owners who created the nation and the Bill of Rights. Anti-gunners have no right to select the rights they like and keeps us from the rest.

[Deerthug]

Well stated!!!

[ants]

WOW!!! That came from a college kid in America???~!!! I have new hope. It would be nice to get the liberal, socialist responce to that!

[wooffer]

It may take awhile to get the liberal response. After all it was a long paragraph with some big words.

[nyantler]

WOW!!! That came from a college kid in America???~!!! I have new hope. It would be nice to get the liberal, socialist responce to that!

HAHA.. there is no response...it makes perfect sense... they will get everything they always wanted, just the way they asked for it... they should be more careful what they wish for ..huh?? This kid gave it a lot of thought and knocked it out of the park... there is still hope for America!

[sits in trees]

unfortunately the divisions in this country created by big business and politics has made Americas people weaker. just the way the ruling class wants it. as long as we are at each others throats they can steal everything from us including the kitchen sink..

there really is no such thing as a liberal or conservative, you can take just about anyone and ask them a dozen or so questions about todays hot topic political situations and ideologies and you will get a range of answers the will cover the spectrum from so called lib to so called right winger from each and every one of them. it all BS America, wake up already.

[max3]

No such thing as liberal & conservative ?

it's all big business's fault ?

[wooffer]

unfortunately the divisions in this country created by big business and politics has made Americas people weaker. just the way the ruling class wants it. as long as we are at each others throats they can steal everything from us including the kitchen sink..

there really is no such thing as a liberal or conservative, you can take just about anyone and ask them a dozen or so questions about todays hot topic political situations and ideologies and you will get a range of answers the will cover the spectrum from so called lib to so called right winger from each and every one of them. it all BS America, wake up already.

You are right in a lot of what you say. I have some liberal anti-gun friends (and family). Of course when I ask them what they would do if they caught a know rapist climbing in their childs window and a gun was available they admit they would shoot him.

It is actually the two political parties that benefit from keeping the country divided. They blame big business simply as an act of mis-directon. Big business only does what the government lets them do.

[erussell]

I'll take big bussiness over Politicians any day. One gives me money and the other rapes my paycheck every 2 weeks, can you guess which one does what?

[sweet old bill]

what a bunch of crap..

it is not left and right but now what big business can take from us all.

I again saw last night that our president sent out for more flashlight so in the dark of night he and his merry men ( FBI ) will be coming to take our guns away.

Now being in the center and not left or right my guns are safe for awhile.

But you that said this was just a way the country should be broken up. May have to start checking for signs of flashlights at night, and when we do not see you here, we may have to inquire have you been picked up by the FEDS...

maybe for a change there should be a piece that says it time we are all one again, left or right we need support to get our country back on the right track.

Bill

[nyantler]

The fact that some of you don't think their is a right or left in this country might just be part of the problem... there is a right and a left even on this forum for crying out loud... having one ideal or belief that is the same does not constitute being a centerist.. read the first post again.. it illustrates quite well the left and right thinking in this country.. as for big business... Cabelas is big business.. but I see that a lot of you still give them your money... I think you mean only the big businesses that you don't like are hurting the country.

[Doewhacker]

Oh look a chain email from 2009, how nice.

[Doewhacker]

I'll take big bussiness over Politicians any day. One gives me money and the other rapes my paycheck every 2 weeks, can you guess which one does what?

Politics IS big business.

Speaking of politics, I heard that Newt's campaign spent more than it took in in donations last month...and he wants to run the country? Sounds very democratic party of him..lol

[Skillet]

Oh look a chain email from 2009, how nice.

HAHAHAHA. You don't sugar coat anything, Doe. It's great.

[nyantler]

Oh look a chain email from 2009, how nice.

Yeah it was a great idea then and a better one now. Both sides get exactly what they want... no more bickering between ideologies... choose a side and live with your choice... you and Steve should like this part the best

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

[sits in trees]

hard to believe some people actually still think the politicians put in place by big business really control big business. they have the American public so dupped they cant even tell who the puppet master is anymore. until they take the money out of politics the American working man will always and increasingly get the short end of the stick.

big business will have us all paying 6 bucks a gallon for heating oil and gas in a couple months. and the excuses over the years have gone from, OYE theres an oil shortage, or its the damn Opec arabs, or they aint letting us drill!! or them damn speculators, or its all Irans fault, or its the hurricanes, and the list goes on.