Hey...Lambshitz spam post reminds me of my last trip to the heart of the dark continent..
The purpose of the expedition was to explore the remote and relatively unknown Viagra River basin, which is nestled in the heart of deepest, darkest Rwanda between the Levitra Mountain Range, and the vast, inpenetrable Cialis Swamp.
It was led by Dr. Elliot Pfizer, and I went along to hunt game animals to provide food for the expedition. This trip resulted in the discovery of the famous Viagra Falls, which has since become a popular honeymoon destination for sexually dysfunctional chimpanzees..
It was on this journey that we encountered the primative Slipadictomee tribe, a small group of homosexual natives that inhabit the region.. Since they refuse to have sex with women, the tribe is rapidly becoming extinct. Thier only recruitment comes from hairdressers and interior decorators that they kidnap from the neighboring Hairybobo tribe, using thier own paramilitary group, known as the Rwanda Rump Rangers. The Slipadictomees live in mud huts, but they are all very neat and clean and all have matching drapes and carpets. Thier Afro hairdos are PERFECT...
Our mascot on this expedition was a psychotic, semi-domesticated mountain gorilla named KUMQUAT, who bore a striking resemblance to Mike Tyson.. One night Kumquat got into some fermented coconut juice and went bonkers, and proceeded to bite the ears off from all the native packers. It really did not seem to bother them all that much to lose thier ears, except for one poor nearsighted fellow who could no longer wear his eyeglasses..