Jump to content

To Funny


erussell
 Share

Recommended Posts

A couple of hunters were out in the woods when one of them fell to the ground clutching his chest. After struggling for a few seconds, he seemed to stop breathing. The other guy quickly pulls out his cell phone and dials 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What should I do?"

In a soothing voice, the operator says, "Try to remain calm, sir. I can help you. First, we need to make sure he's dead."

Immediately the operator heard a shot.

The frantic hunter comes back on the line and says, "Okay, now what?"  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One day a man went into the dentist's to get a tooth pulled. When the dentist told him he needed to give him some anesthetic he refused. The dentist told him this again and he refused saying"I have experienced the 2 worst pains in the world I don't need anesthetic". So the dentist pulled the tooth and the guy just sat there and didn't even flinch. When this was done the dentist says to the man "What were those pains ?". The guy says"the first one happened while i was out hunting, I squated down to take a dump and got my Weiner caught in a bear trap".The dentist asks him what the second one was and the guy says "when I reached the end of the Chain"  ;):D :D :D :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One  evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone.  Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.   The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look  for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight:  the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large  male lion stood facing her.   The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"   "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess,  let him get himself out of it."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A big city lawyer went duck hunting. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.

The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and your not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers around, and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything that you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in these parts. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"

The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the city fella. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin, which dropped him to his knees.

His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.

The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but didn't.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said,

"Naw, I give up, You can keep the duck!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...