Water Rat

Would helper springs work .......maybe temporarily ?

I would like to get the next 6 winning lotto numbers .

I go to bed every night at midnight. I pee at 3am and poop at 5am. The only problem is that I don't wake up until 8am.

Don't forget the swiss cheese for the ruebens .

Deer drives with a few hunting partners have worked well for me in the past .

God was just about done creating the universe , but He had 2 extra things left in His bag of creations , so He decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to pee while standing up. " It's a very handy thing " , God told the couple , whom he found under an apple tree. " I was wondering if either one of you wanted the ability ", God asked. Adam jumped up and blurted , " Oh, give it to me ! I'd love to , please oh , please oh , let me have the ability , It'd be so great ! When I'm working in the garden , I could just stand there and let it fly . It'd be so cool , I could write my name in the snow . Oh please God let it be me who you give that gift to , please God let me be able to stand and pee in the snow. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam wanted it that badly , he should have it . It seemed to be the thing that would make him happy and really wouldn't mind if Adam was giving this ability. And so Adam was given the ability to urinate while standing in a vertical position. Adam was so happy that he celebrated by peeing his name in the snow while laughing with delight. " Fine " God said , while looking into his bag of leftover gifts, "What's left here ? Oh yes.......multiple orgasms .

You can't say you didn't try. As the saying goes......." wait till next year ".

Me too...........I feel like a fighter pilot sleeping with that mask on . Damn cigarettes did me in .

I got buck fever just by looking .

Sleep apnea maybe ?

You had an outhouse............Damn , you was rich !

I was so poor growing up , I would go to the KFC and lick other peoples fingers .

Not only is New Jersey's gas prices cheaper , but I believe that their gas stations are all " Full Service " . They don't allow you to pump your own gas ...at least that's how I remember it a couple of years ago. It might have changed by now.

Bachelor party ??????

Nothing like getting stuck behind a school bus at dismissal time......especially when your in a hurry.

Frozen bunker / chum would work well on coons .

Sometimes you have to go out on a limb.......that's where the fruit is.

Love is blind........marriage is the eye opener ! Seriously , here's hoping to a long and happy marriage !!!

Maybe slit it's throat ?

BEFORE MARRIAGE: He : Yes . At last . It was so hard to wait . She : Do you want me to leave ? He : HELL NO ! Don't even think about it . She : Do you love me ? He : OF COURSE . Over and over . She : Have you ever cheated on me ? He : HELL NO ! Why are you even asking ? She : Will you kiss and make love to me ? He : Every chance I get . She : Will you ever hit me ? He : ARE YOU CRAZY ? I'm not that kind of person . She : Can I trust you ? He : YES ! She : Darling . AFTER MARRIAGE : Read from the bottom up .

That's a very disturbing post whether you think it's funny or not .

This moose was killed less than 50 miles from Yankee Stadium ...........pretty cool.

Anyone hear about a dead moose in the back of a DEC vehicle yesterday in Dutchess County ?

Awesome bear.........Leave It To Beaver .

Congrats......... love drop tine bucks !