airedale

That's When The fight Started

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started...

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a bathroom scale. And then the fight started...

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." And then the fight started...

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started.

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Serious Dogs For Serious Work

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She asked me if her butt looked big in those jeans. I said let me jog around to the back to be sure.

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"It's fun to win elections." -- Bill Whittle

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OMG that's nasty Phil...LOL


The Kindle just doesn't work right and   I have decided not to feed the bullies and distracters...it's call the ignore feature. They only have power when fed.

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Wife tells me today, my mother in law will not be coming for Christmas. I say, thought we weren't exchanging gifts this year? That's when the fight started.......

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I told my wife I'd finish the house projects next week. "Actions speak louder than words," she said. I spent the following week working like a slave. "I feel like we don't talk anymore," she said at the end. "Which is it," I asked. That's when the fight started.


I'm all thumbs when using Tapatalk

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My wife asked me "does these jeans make me look fat?"  I said "no, its your belly that makes your fat."  That's when the fight started.

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NRA Lifetime member.

"We do not inherit the Earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children." - Native American Indian Proverb

"My goal in life is to become as wonderful as my dog thinks I am" - Toby & Eileen Green

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