Friends martial issues - advice?

[5.9cummins]

So this all i have been able to think about this morning regardless of what i have tried to do to take my mind off of it.

My wife got a call this a.m. from a very good friend may have cheated.

He's got a wonderful wife, kids, house, LIFE and i don't want to see him throw it all away.

I have been debating all morning about what to do.

1. Pray for him and let it run its course

or

2. Take a three hour drive to have a talk with him and try to tell him what a douche bag hes being and talk some sense into him.

I really don't think he has a clue how close he is to losing it all but i am not sure he will listen. I have never had to deal with anything like this and I am really up in the air.

I also don't feel that in good conscience i can continue the friendship if he continues down the path hes going. I also feel like i have to say something otherwise what kind of friend am I but i have never been one to intervene in something like this.

This sucks!!!!!!!

[ELMER J. FUDD]

Do what's best for those kids. One extreme or the other. Don't pick sides or blow the spot, if it works out there will be bad blood when the smoke clears.

[Deerthug]

That's a tough one! Depends on how close u are to this guy. Maybe I would call him on the pretense of just doing something with him like go out for dinner and drinks just the guys. Make like you guys havent hung out in a while. Then bring up the subject by just asking how things are etc. and maybe hell just open up you and just let him talk it out.

[burmjohn]

If its a really good friend take the ride up there and do what deerthug said.

[Pygmy]

I came to the conclusion long ago that your best approach is to MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

If you go meddling in other people's affairs ( pun intended) you will probably not affect the eventual outcome, and you will nearly always end up losing a friend.

[burmjohn]

The guy wouldnt have called up to say something if he didnt want some kind of attention.

[Moosemaple]

I came to the conclusion long ago that your best approach is to MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

If you go meddling in other people's affairs ( pun intended) you will probably not affect the eventual outcome, and you will nearly always end up losing a friend.

I agree with you, it seems that when ever you get involved in this kind of problem you become the loser in the end.

[WNYBuckHunter]

Yep, stay out of it. If he comes to you, talk to him, but dont take it any further than that. If you do talk with him, try to listen but not give any advice you arent asked for. Just my opinion.

[nyantler]

I came to the conclusion long ago that your best approach is to MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

If you go meddling in other people's affairs ( pun intended) you will probably not affect the eventual outcome, and you will nearly always end up losing a friend.

I agree.. nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors in a marraige and its not up to anyone but the couple to solve whatever problem there might be.. it will serve no purpose to the friendship or the marraige for you to interfere... if things are such that he is looking elswhere.. then I think he has a reason.. that reason .. no matter how much you don't agree with it.. is spurred by something within the relationship that is none of your business.. otherwise he would have told you.. do yourself a favor and leave it alone.

[Paula]

mind your business

[Karpteach]

Minding your own business is my suggestion. HOWEVER, had a friend that I new his wife was cheating on him. My then wife would not let me say anything to him. He found out after we both divorced the jerks. He was very hurt. I regret not telling him, our friendship was never the same. I do not know what type of friend he is, if he really is a very good one..... Think about it. Its a personal decision. Sorry for the mixed message.

[ny hunter]

What would do is tell him how I feel,I would not give him advice.And leave it at that.I stopped hanging out with friend because he was cheating.Said my peace,and thats that.If your gonna fool around why get married and have kids?

[wooly]

I would hook him up with one of my ex-wives! Wont take him long and he'll realise what he got waiting at home for him....that is unless they turn him gay first,lol.

IMO- stay out of it. I've been on both sides. Had a best friend that got involved with one of mine and went on to marry my ex. Poor fella, just goes to show how things can backfire! Bet ya now he wishes he never got involved,lol!

[NYDeer]

Re-reading your post a few times, its pretty vague on details, which part of the 'friends' with problems' called, and the purpose of the actual call, and the REAL reason for the call.. MYOB. Could be a witch hunt off jealousy, could be riling/loading up parties to side with one side or the other, who knows.. And you don't live there/with them.. Sometimes personalities & persona demons make life in a house unbearable when to the outside world everything seems rosey.. Unless asked, someone may wind up physically injured, I'd steer clear.. When the dust settles, you'll get a feel for the new landscape..