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Todays (clean) chuckle

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Twelve Commandments for Seniors
#1 - Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice. 
#2 - “In Style” are the clothes that still fit. 
#3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off. 
#4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work. 
#5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, “I don't need to write that down.  I'll remember it.” 
#6 - “On time” is when you get there. 
#7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound. 
#8 - It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out  wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller. 
#9 - Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you. 
#10 - Growing old should have taken longer. 
#11 - Aging has slowed you down, but hasn't shut you up. 
#12 - You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will. 
. . . And one more: 
“One for the road” means peeing before you leave the house.
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