Al Bundy Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 Oh it was horrible... I had nightmares last night picturing this horrid creature! I was out walking my dog, minding my own business. My lab decided she wanted to eat someones discarded chicken wing bones off the sidewalk. I had to wrestle with her but finally with dog slobbered hands, I removed the last of the bones from her mouth. Before surrendering them, she tried to escape my grasp by not so intelligently pulling away into the street. Not far, but she was clearly in the road. The heel command (or anything else) was not working during this so I pulled her body into heel (out of the street) and yelled at her. Crisis over, I sauntered down the road.. thats when IT appeared! It was an unsightly beast! Very overweight, long hideous scraggly hair unkempt, face that nightmares are made of .Flapping her arms, waving her hands. She started to bellow in a raspy voice... "EXCUSE ME". Over and over she bellowed until I caught her eye. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING TO THAT DOG?" She bellowed.. a cold chill went through my spine. I swore at that point I could smell a very bad odor coming from this foul creature. "YOU DONT DESERVE SUCH A NICE DOG.. PULLING HER LIKE THAT" On and on she went about what an ass I was. This foul creature even went so far as to ask me how I would like to be tied up and pulled. I looked this creature in the face and told her.. "I WOULD LOVE YOU TO TIE ME UP! OH BABY"... Then I made some kissy kissy kissy noises, gave her a one finger salute and moved on down the road... 3 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BizCT Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 W T F!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ny hunter Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 What’s going on here....New short story section.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turkeyfeathers Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 She look like this ? 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pygmy Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 24 minutes ago, Al Bundy said: Oh it was horrible... I had nightmares last night picturing this horrid creature! I was out walking my dog, minding my own business. My lab decided she wanted to eat someones discarded chicken wing bones off the sidewalk. I had to wrestle with her but finally with dog slobbered hands, I removed the last of the bones from her mouth. Before surrendering them, she tried to escape my grasp by not so intelligently pulling away into the street. Not far, but she was clearly in the road. The heel command (or anything else) was not working during this so I pulled her body into heel (out of the street) and yelled at her. Crisis over, I sauntered down the road.. thats when IT appeared! It was an unsightly beast! Very overweight, long hideous scraggly hair unkempt, face that nightmares are made of .Flapping her arms, waving her hands. She started to bellow in a raspy voice... "EXCUSE ME". Over and over she bellowed until I caught her eye. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING TO THAT DOG?" She bellowed.. a cold chill went through my spine. I swore at that point I could smell a very bad odor coming from this foul creature. "YOU DONT DESERVE SUCH A NICE DOG.. PULLING HER LIKE THAT" On and on she went about what an ass I was. This foul creature even went so far as to ask me how I would like to be tied up and pulled. I looked this creature in the face and told her.. "I WOULD LOVE YOU TO TIE ME UP! OH BABY"... Then I made some kissy kissy kissy noises, gave her a one finger salute and moved on down the road... So you've met my Mother-in-Law ??…. 3 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeremy K Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 Prude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marion Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 So you've met my Mother-in-Law ??….That the mermaid's mom?Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elmo Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pygmy Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 1 hour ago, The Jerkman said: That the mermaid's mom? Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk Nope...She's been dead since 1963, and I never met the lady.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marion Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 Nope...She's been dead since 1963, and I never met the lady....That's sadSent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncountry Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 4 hours ago, Al Bundy said: Oh it was horrible... I had nightmares last night picturing this horrid creature! I was out walking my dog, minding my own business. My lab decided she wanted to eat someones discarded chicken wing bones off the sidewalk. I had to wrestle with her but finally with dog slobbered hands, I removed the last of the bones from her mouth. Before surrendering them, she tried to escape my grasp by not so intelligently pulling away into the street. Not far, but she was clearly in the road. The heel command (or anything else) was not working during this so I pulled her body into heel (out of the street) and yelled at her. Crisis over, I sauntered down the road.. thats when IT appeared! It was an unsightly beast! Very overweight, long hideous scraggly hair unkempt, face that nightmares are made of .Flapping her arms, waving her hands. She started to bellow in a raspy voice... "EXCUSE ME". Over and over she bellowed until I caught her eye. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING TO THAT DOG?" She bellowed.. a cold chill went through my spine. I swore at that point I could smell a very bad odor coming from this foul creature. "YOU DONT DESERVE SUCH A NICE DOG.. PULLING HER LIKE THAT" On and on she went about what an ass I was. This foul creature even went so far as to ask me how I would like to be tied up and pulled. I looked this creature in the face and told her.. "I WOULD LOVE YOU TO TIE ME UP! OH BABY"... Then I made some kissy kissy kissy noises, gave her a one finger salute and moved on down the road... Lmao... Be careful in today's age.. A buddy was given sexual harassment charges for doing the whole doing the kissy noises and face , and that was without a salute..It never amounted to anything.. but a mark on his 30 years of spotless work history.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UpStateRedNeck Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 5 hours ago, Al Bundy said: Oh it was horrible... I had nightmares last night picturing this horrid creature! I was out walking my dog, minding my own business. My lab decided she wanted to eat someones discarded chicken wing bones off the sidewalk. I had to wrestle with her but finally with dog slobbered hands, I removed the last of the bones from her mouth. Before surrendering them, she tried to escape my grasp by not so intelligently pulling away into the street. Not far, but she was clearly in the road. The heel command (or anything else) was not working during this so I pulled her body into heel (out of the street) and yelled at her. Crisis over, I sauntered down the road.. thats when IT appeared! It was an unsightly beast! Very overweight, long hideous scraggly hair unkempt, face that nightmares are made of .Flapping her arms, waving her hands. She started to bellow in a raspy voice... "EXCUSE ME". Over and over she bellowed until I caught her eye. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING TO THAT DOG?" She bellowed.. a cold chill went through my spine. I swore at that point I could smell a very bad odor coming from this foul creature. "YOU DONT DESERVE SUCH A NICE DOG.. PULLING HER LIKE THAT" On and on she went about what an ass I was. This foul creature even went so far as to ask me how I would like to be tied up and pulled. I looked this creature in the face and told her.. "I WOULD LOVE YOU TO TIE ME UP! OH BABY"... Then I made some kissy kissy kissy noises, gave her a one finger salute and moved on down the road... Wife pissed you flipped her the bird when you got home? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Bundy Posted August 29, 2019 Author Share Posted August 29, 2019 34 minutes ago, ncountry said: Lmao... Be careful in today's age.. A buddy was given sexual harassment charges for doing the whole doing the kissy noises and face , and that was without a salute..It never amounted to anything.. but a mark on his 30 years of spotless work history.. Y this is actually good advice. You are right. My town has a chat group of sorts and I wondered if I was going to find my picture on there. This woman was a piece of work. I didn't even reprimand the dog THAT much. Wife was unhappy at me for saying shit. This woman was quite a ways from me though. She must have seen me and chased after or come out of a store or something. This was not the only time.. Different person same town a bunch of years ago when my lab was being trained. I was teaching her to heel and walk at my side. I had a yard stick that I would hold off to my side and the dog couldnt walk in front of me with the yard stick there. I was trying to teach her not to pull and only walk side by side. So what happens? Some nutcase old lady stops her car in the middle of the road and starts screaming at me about beating my dog with the yard stick. She stopped traffic while on her tirade. She was out of her car, and started screaming I beat my dog. Then she started beeping the horn and saying Hey everyone this guy beats his dog. Seriously WTF.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BizCT Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 I misread earlier. Thought this was a dream. Now I see it is real life. This is epic!Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crappyice Posted August 30, 2019 Share Posted August 30, 2019 I misread earlier. Thought this was a dream. Now I see it is real life. This is epic!Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkWow...I had no idea what Ted...um...Al was going on about...now I get it!Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter007 Posted August 30, 2019 Share Posted August 30, 2019 (edited) you met her huh Edited August 30, 2019 by Hunter007 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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