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Confused, need help..

wooly

By wooly,
in General Chit Chat

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Pygmy
Pygmy

Sir Thomas was an Englishmen and perhaps he just IMPROVED the can...   Brings to mind another Englishman...   Back in 1835, a Muslim in  Iraq invented the condom, using the lower intestine of a go

fasteddie
fasteddie

Why does your nose run and your feet smell ? Hmmmmmmm !

Elmo
Elmo

Why is our family jewels darker than the rest of our bodies when it gets no sun?

Deerthug Newbie

Deerthug

Posted
Posted (edited)

More stuff to ponder:

1. Why does quicksand work slowly?

2. Why are boxing rings square?

3. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

4. Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

5. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it? (No offense intended)

6. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

And here are the top 19 reasons why men are so proud of themselves:

1. We know stuff about tanks.

2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase.

3. We can open all our own jars.

4. We can make decisions without a support group.

5. We can leave a motel bed unmade.

6. We can kill our own food.

7. If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend.

7. Three pairs of shoes is more than adequate.

8. We don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming.

9. We can sit quietly and watch TV with a friend for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."

10. We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

11. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit, we just might become lifelong friends.

12. Our pals will never trap us with: "So, notice anything different?"

13. We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors.

14. We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.

15. The same hairstyle lasts for years - maybe decades.

16. We don't have to shave below the neck.

17. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

18. We can do our nails with a pocketknife.

19. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the day before Christmas and be done in 45 minutes.

Wooly I hope these don't confuse you any more. LOL

Edit: a few more...

If you spin an oriental man, does he become disoriented?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

How do you throw away a garbage can? (I've been trying to do this to a broken one I've had for weeks now but they just wont take it)

If you are an insomniac, dyslexic and agnostic, do you stay up all night wondering if there is a dog?

Edited by Deerthug
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Pygmy Experienced

Pygmy

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If cannibals eat a clown, does he taste "funny"...?

 

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets ?

 

If there are disgruntled employees, do you call the other employees "gruntled". ?

 

What's the speed of DARK..?

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