Tell me what is it about old guys....

[Pygmy]

2 hours ago, growalot said:

that goes without saying,Biz

Biz mis-read your post, Growie...

He thought you said   " OF color",  rather than  " OFF color".....<<grin>>..................

[growalot]

Lol...I had to go double check...noticed with the arthritis flare up in my hands,I've been dropping letters I didn't hit the key hard enough on....That makes sense to me now....

[NFA-ADK]

Often people realize they are sick and tired of being polite and or politically correct. 

Big guys I mean really big guys often do this along with older people that just do not care anymore what anyone else thinks about them.  Once they determine that they do not care, no filter is applied to the mouth! 

My best friend at about 8 years old told the adult neighbor to basically go to hell, SHOCKED as a kid that age I realized this guy had no filter, to this day he will  tell you to go to hell if he does not like you!  With strict parents you can imagine why he became my best friend! 

[fasteddie]

Someone mentioned 60 as old so here goes 

When you’re over sixty...Who cares?

I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business, when this FAT, ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kind’a cute.

You gotta phone number?"

 I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"

 She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".

 I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."

 

Cost me 6 stitches... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

*****************************

Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."

Lady Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"

Cowboy: "Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."

Cost me a busted tooth... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

*****************************

I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a

few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”

I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

Cost me a fat lip... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

*****************************

I went to a bar last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.

"Good legs!" I said! The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"

I said, "Definitely! … Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Cost me another 6 stitches... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

 

***************************

 

 

[grampy]

14 minutes ago, fasteddie said:

Someone mentioned 60 as old so here goes 

When you’re over sixty...Who cares?

I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business, when this FAT, ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kind’a cute.

You gotta phone number?"

 I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"

 She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".

 I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."

 

Cost me 6 stitches... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

*****************************

Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."

Lady Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"

Cowboy: "Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."

Cost me a busted tooth... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

*****************************

I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a

few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”

I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

Cost me a fat lip... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

*****************************

I went to a bar last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.

"Good legs!" I said! The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"

I said, "Definitely! … Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Cost me another 6 stitches... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

 

***************************

 

 

Belly laugh of the day!!!!!

[NFA-ADK]

Good one FastEddie!!!  LMAO!

[Merlot]

An old guy, not in the best of shape, was working out at the local gym. While looking around, he spots a beautiful sweet young babe.

He asked the trainer, who was working with a client nearby, " hey coach, what machine should I use to impress the young lovely lady over there?'

The trainer looked the old guy over up and down carefully and then said," I would try the ATM machine over in the lobby"...

Edited February 10, 2017 by Merlot
delete

[hunter49]

  Being 67 I think a person gets to a point where they don't care about impressing any one anymore. Your out of shape, don't care if your clothes match, you can burp, fart, & scratch where ever & what ever you want.  I am more offended by the young people that use the "F" word every other word. I never said it around my father until I was 50 yrs. old. & I never said it in front of my wife. These kids now days say it all the time!  Believe me I am not a prude, I just think it is disrespectful. I also think the young girls are worst than the boys or just as bad!   jmo.

[fasteddie]

I pretty much say what I think and my wife often rolls her eyes up when I speak . I can tell  she is doing it when I can't even see her because I hear her doing it !   

[Pygmy]

21 minutes ago, hunter49 said:

  Being 67 I think a person gets to a point where they don't care about impressing any one anymore. Your out of shape, don't care if your clothes match, you can burp, fart, & scratch where ever & what ever you want.  I am more offended by the young people that use the "F" word every other word. I never said it around my father until I was 50 yrs. old. & I never said it in front of my wife. These kids now days say it all the time!  Believe me I am not a prude, I just think it is disrespectful. I also think the young girls are worst than the boys or just as bad!   jmo.

In  the " social club"  that I frequent,  any person using such language in mixed company will be asked to leave....

If they persist in such behavior, they will be  "compelled"  to leave , and not return...

 

[nybuckboy]

Pirate walks in a bar

 

Bartender: Wow haven't seen you in a long time... you look terrible.

Pirate: Why what's the matter?

Bartender: What's with the wooden leg?

Pirate: Oh me peg leg... lost in from a cannonball... took it clean off...got me a wooden peg leg... it works good!

Bar Tender: Whats with the hook?

Pirate: Oh me hook... lost my hand in sword fight on board ship when were attacked. Killed the guy but lost my hand but got me a hook. It works good!

Bar Tender: Whats with the patch over your eye?

Pirate: Oh me patch... a flock of sea gulls flew over and one of em shit in my eye!

Bar Tender: That wouldn't hurt your eye!

Pirate: First day with me hook!

[helmut in the bush]

Well I guess I'm pre pube buzzard, almost 57. Had to put my mom in a nursing home a few months ago, not so cool, but I found a video that fits, check it out

 

[growalot]

OMG.....HAHAHA

[New York Hillbilly]

fasteddie..........................lolololololol.......the tears are running down my face.....

thanks!

[hunter49]

  Now that's funny!

[DirtTime]

Cleaned this up as much as possible for this site.

Elderly women is frustrated with her husband because he never wants to make love any more. So she decides to go to a sexy lingerie shop and buy some items hoping her hubby notices and takes action.

The sales women sends her home with a teddy. That night she puts on the teddy and stands in from of the TV. Her hubby says "Get out of the way I'm watching sports center!". She goes upstairs more depressed then ever.

The next day she goes back to the lingerie shop and this time the sales woman sends her home with a bustier and stockings. That night she puts everything on and again stands in front of the TV. Her hubby says "Get out of the way I'm watching sports center!". She goes upstairs crying.

The next day she goes back to the lingerie store a bit miffed. "You keep selling me things that are not working! I need a guarantee this time!", she barks. So the sales woman thinks for a minute and sells her a pair of crotchless edible panties, stating "If this doesn't work, nothing will.".

The woman goes home, puts on the panties and once again stands in front of the TV. She says to her hubby "These are strawberry flavored! You want a taste?". The husband looks at her and at the panties and yells "Hell no woman! Look what that thing did to your underwear!".

Edited February 13, 2017 by ....rob
spelling corrections

[growalot]

Lol...

[ants]

Some people are just low class and miserable. Not that long ago I was waiting in the check out line. There was an old guy in front of me. Maybe 80. The whole time the line moved he was loudly bitching about how the last time he was in the store they wouldn't sell him a knife because he refused to give his date of birth. Ridicules question, but come on.. The F- bombs were flying and he said  "if they give me sh!t today I'll hit them over the head with my F-ing Cain". Needless to say by the time he got to the 18 year old cashier she was scared to death. He started yelling  at her and I finally told him to leave her alone and cut his crap. He F-bombs me and I actually had to get in his face.(bad situation..either your a prick for slamming an old guy or you get your ass kicked by one..No win)  He left screaming F-bombs and telling everyone to kiss his a$$.. The cashier thanked me though..

[tuckersdaddy]

Some people are just low class and miserable. Not that long ago I was waiting in the check out line. There was an old guy in front of me. Maybe 80. The whole time the line moved he was loudly bitching about how the last time he was in the store they wouldn't sell him a knife because he refused to give his date of birth. Ridicules question, but come on.. The F- bombs were flying and he said  "if they give me sh!t today I'll hit them over the head with my F-ing Cain". Needless to say by the time he got to the 18 year old cashier she was scared to death. He started yelling  at her and I finally told him to leave her alone and cut his crap. He F-bombs me and I actually had to get in his face.(bad situation..either your a prick for slamming an old guy or you get your ass kicked by one..No win)  He left screaming F-bombs and telling everyone to kiss his a$$.. The cashier thanked me though..

An ass is an ass.... My favorite.. I was helping an attractive young lady at work she was late 20 early 30, when the gentleman one line over easy late 70 early 80, looks at her and says ' If I were 40 years younger, you and I would by on our way to the nearest church' . The young lady turned bright red but had a smile on her face the whole time she was in the store!

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