It happened one Easter...

[dbHunterNY]

30 minutes ago, Lawdwaz said:

I’m bringing a casserole and dessert, what time was it again??

short story

officer: know why i pulled you over.

larry: why no officer. i'm just driving this tractor.

officer: license and... license?

larry: sh*t. i forgot it at john's house. can you hold my beer? i'm going to call him right now.

....to be continued.

[philoshop]

40 minutes ago, dbHunterNY said:

short story

officer: know why i pulled you over.

larry: why no officer. i'm just driving this tractor.

officer: license and... license?

larry: sh*t. i forgot it at john's house. can you hold my beer? i'm going to call him right now.

....to be continued.

...And out of the inky shadows came the man who actually knows what happened. He knew all about the tractor troubles, and even the semi-warm Genny lite being carried as contraband on that romp. He'd known all along but kept it hidden from the HNY website.

A staunch Columbo-like figure was needed. It was Pygmy...

...to be continued...

Sorry guys. I do write for a living, and sometimes it's just a lot of fun playing with fiction.

ETA: No offense, mea culpa. We had one of these threads go on for several pages on another site, and it was hilarious keeping the storyline going. Everyone got poked and poked back. Someone eventually got really angry and shut it down.

Edited March 26, 2018 by philoshop

[Pygmy]

I  knew Larry was in trouble.....The cop was no stranger to me....

His mother and I used to play "patty-cake"  back in the days when my hair was more curly and my overcoat was less rumpled...

I was just about to speak when I realized that the elastic had failed in my Hanes briefs and " Big Bob and the Boys"  were hanging down my left leg....

I thought....." Oh CRAP  !!".....

Just as the cop turned toward me, things went from bad to worse....

Emerging from a  patch of public land just beyond the policeman was Bill Schmidt,  and he was carrying a large brown chicken by the back legs...

Edited March 27, 2018 by Pygmy

[philoshop]

...And then, out of nowhere, a caped figure came out of the sky with an Excalibur sword made of antlers. It was Wooly.

With Dinsdale and Airedale heavily armed to support him from the tree-line, Wooly approached the officer and demanded that he "hand over that beer, my dog's thirsty"... there was little resistance at that point...

[Pygmy]

The cop tried to think fast...He  said to himself " RELY on your TRAINING"....

He asked himself  " Which one is the DOG ?"....

[Jdubs]

Training could not have possibly prepared the young officer for what happened next.

At that moment, a van rolled up to the scene and locked the brakes, kicking up a large cloud of dust.  A hazy pink figure emerged.  It was Turkeyfeathers wearing his pink bunny suit.  And he looked like he meant business.

As he approached the stunned officer, TF turned to Wooly and said, "Here, hold my beer." 

Edited March 27, 2018 by Jdubs

[dbHunterNY]

the group now in awe was left in silence. then suddenly the brown chicken came to life with vengeance. claws, beak, and feather overwhelmed mr. bill schmidt. while his shot was true the mighty bird was only stung and had been temporarily stunned.

Edited March 27, 2018 by dbHunterNY

[Pygmy]

Bill was stunned  by the frantic flapping of the Rhode Island Red...

He  tried to counter the attack with a well practiced Kung Fu  move, but the clever  bird threw  a vicious karate chop and Bill's  "horseshoe call" went flying from his mouth in a spray of saliva, blood, and chicken poop....

Edited March 27, 2018 by Pygmy

[Robhuntandfish]

The officer exclaimed" I am just here cause I got notification from a Kindle that there were some boys up to no good in the area and she is standing by as backup with a leaf blower if need be. So best you all stand down"

 

 

[grampy]

Everyone turns, as a big black pickup, with sissy carpet pulls up, in a swirl of dust. Out steps a big man, and with a grin, grabs a very fine recurve bow and one arrow. He nods to all assembled and says follow me, I got this. All get in line and followed the big guy into the field. All except wooly, who is smiling as he picks up the still flapping Rhode Island Red. And stashes it in his coat, for a dinner and future skull carving.

[Pygmy]

28 minutes ago, Robhuntandfish said:

The officer exclaimed" I am just here cause I got notification from a Kindle that there were some boys up to no good in the area and she is standing by as backup with a leaf blower if need be. So best you all stand down"

Just as an aside,  "some boys up to no good in this area"  is a pretty accurate description of THIS crew....Hehehe...

 

 

[Lawdwaz]

43 minutes ago, Pygmy said:

Just as an aside,  "some boys up to no good in this area"  is a pretty accurate description of THIS crew....Hehehe...

I couldn't agree more!

Keep spinning the yarn guys.....................

[WNYBuckHunter]

Just as the big man strutted into the field, a string from his truck's bed rug that was caught in his bow, became taut as it reached its end, causing him to fall backwards. Just then Mike Rossi flew down from the sky riding a giant mourning dove, which caught big Brian in its talons before he hit the ground...

[Lawdwaz]

.......then gently set the big guy down on a freshly constructed platform far into the wilds of Monroe County, an amazing fete for such a diminutive creature,  also known as the pygmy of the winged world.

 

[moog5050]

35 minutes ago, Lawdwaz said:

.......then gently set the big guy down on a freshly constructed platform far into the wilds of Monroe County, an amazing fete for such a diminutive creature,  also known as the pygmy of the winged world.

 

And as the giant pygmy dove flew away, it laughed watching the fat closet vegan crash through the metal platform floor to the ground below (right on top of the only Tom in 5 square miles) ....

Edited March 27, 2018 by moog5050

[Robhuntandfish]

and together they made beautiful art..... paintings of 458 socoms and 223s dancing in a field of dragonflies...

[moog5050]

and several miles away, Nomad grimaced as he realized the blonde bombshell vegan was not who he thought she was.  Indeed, it was lawdwaz in disguise....

Edited March 27, 2018 by moog5050

[steve863]

When the Easter parade came marching thru town, the last float was dedicated to our 2nd amendment rights.  It had "Molon Labe" in big bright letters written on it with our old friend Bubba that some of you will remember riding on top of it dressed up as Santa Claus and sitting in an Easter egg basket.  

[grampy]

who winked and said c'mere ol' buddy, lets have a beer, and figure out how we got here.

[Robhuntandfish]

4 minutes ago, Robhuntandfish said:

and together they made beautiful art..... paintings of 458 socoms and 223s dancing in a field of dragonflies...

meanwhile back at the scene of the crime..........  the unattended mower now has a new driver in a pink bunny suit whirling a bloody leaf blower and wearing a police hat and is headed straight for the Yelling goat and hot on his tail is an angry couple and the blonde has a beard that Nomad describes as "Scratchy" .......

[Lawdwaz]

SWAT members from Ontario County have the Bristol Home surrounded as a holed up Lawdwaz has made his way back to the residence and refuses to come out. 

Reports say “shots fired” at the scene but gastric problems could be the source of the disturbance.  

[fasteddie]

Meanwhile , back at the ranch , Bubba had gathered the Militia for a meeting and said .......

[Lawdwaz]

8 minutes ago, fasteddie said:

Meanwhile , back at the ranch , Bubba had gathered the Militia for a meeting and said .......

“anybody puts an orange vest on, I’ll shoot you myself!!”

[steve863]

 

6 minutes ago, Lawdwaz said:

“anybody puts an orange vest on, I’ll shoot you myself!!”

 

No kidding!!  Police were called when Bubba and Doc got into a scuffle.  Doc wanted to climb on board Bubba's float wearing a blaze orange vest and hat, but Bubba would have no part of it.  Several officers needed medical attention after Bubba fell off the float on top of them. 

Edited March 27, 2018 by steve863

[moog5050]

... And at that moment John awoke, thinking  it was all just a horrible dream, but as he looked out his bedroom window dazed and confused, he saw ....