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What would you have done?

Deerthug

By Deerthug,
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Deerthug Newbie

Deerthug

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This weekend it was originally planned that four families would go up to the cabin to celebrate Thanksgiving and get some hunting in. Instead, because of scheduling issues with my brother in law's kids we all stayed here on LI and had Thanksgiving dinner at his house. During dinner we had a discussion about going up Friday morning to go hunting. However, my father in law's son was not at dinner that nite and he could not go up on Friday cause he had to work and was not sure if he could go up even on Saturday, so my father in law felt it was not right for the three of us (me, my father in law and my other brother in law) to go up without his son. It was originally decided that my brother in law who owns the house upstate would go only with his wife for the weekend. So that nite it was decided that he would head up on Friday with his wife only.

During the day on Friday I find out that the brother in law who could not go up Friday was going up Saturday morning for one nite with his wife and their two little kids. My father in law decides to call me at 6:00pm on Friday nite to ask me to drive him and his wife up so he could spend the weekend with them. I was already pissed at the whole situation so I said I couldn't cause I was "meeting a client on Saturday afternoon".

The next morning on Saturday he goes up with his son and they end up taking two cars cause they all could not fit in their car.

Now this morning (before I even had my coffee) we get a call at 8:00am from my father in law and in a joking manner he tells my wife that "he shot a deer for me" and said "I need your DMP tag". Now he already used his last weekend and no one else got a DMP tag in our hunting party so he was stuck. I had my DMP tag in my wallet which was with me on LI (I forgot to stick it in my back tag last weekend since it came two months after I applied in August). He wanted me to drive up there sign over my tag to him. Needless to say I was pissed off! I'm the first one to jump in the car and go upstate at a moments notice to go hunting but I really, really, really didn't want to go!

After some back and forth with my wife and phone calls back and forth, about how to handle this situation, I drove up . . . Yes! I drove up for 2.5 hours. Thank God there was no traffic going up.

OK. I get there and say my hello's and I say to my father in law "what were you thinking when you pulled the trigger?", knowing full well that he didn't have another DMP. I dropped the tag on the table and signed it over to him.

Now he wanted to ride back with me. I said that I wasn't leaving just yet. I'm gonna stay and eat something and then leave. I just wanted to drive back by myself. I don't want the deer or the meat.

He offered to come up with me next weekend which was the original plan. I told him I don't know if I'm going or not. I then find out he got mad for what I said to him.

So I drove back home for another 2.5 hours... killing my whole Sunday.

What would you all have done???? Did I do the right thing? Did I say anything wrong or disrespectful?

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Deerthug Newbie

Deerthug

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It's family.. I would have let it go and made plans for the next weekend to do some hunting with my father in law..

I understand that it's family but I was more pissed off at the way he went about it. This has been going on for as long as I can remember and as long as I have been part of the family. They always expect you to jump at a moments notice.

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growalot Newbie

growalot

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For one thing as I'm sure you know what you did was illegal for both of you...I do believe that the DEC states that the DMP's are to be signed over before the hunt...perhaps I'm wrong but don't think so...I would have let the father in-law know this and that it put you in a difficult situation that you do not wish to be put in again

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nyantler Apprentice

nyantler

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He shoulda cleared it with you before getting trigger happy since the tag wasnt his.

I agree.. family members sometimes need to know just how much of a pain in the ass thery're being... I would have told him that he should have thought first before taking a deer that he had no business taking... I would not have made the drive and I would have slept like a baby afterwards... if he gets upset.. so be it... better than me being upset... he's family.. he was wrong and he should understand... you should never apologize for not doing anything wrong!!

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ny hunter Collaborator

ny hunter

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You know I would have told him he should not have shot the deer if the tag was not in camp.Now he screwed up the whole weekend before it started,so he or his son is gonna have to come get the tag.Then I would have gotten yelled at by the wife and slept on the couch for a few days.But NO friggin way Am I driving up there.........

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Deerthug Newbie

Deerthug

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Thanks for the comments guys/gals. I think I'm more PO'ed at the fact that I had to give up my DMP tag after first applying in August and not getting it and then being pleasantly surprised when I got one in the mail in the beginning of November. Now I'm stuck if I don't see a buck next week I can't even shoot a doe which I could have taken opening weekend.

Grow, I just read the DEC section on DMP consignment, it does not mention anything about transferring the DMP before the actual hunt. It just gives you instructions on what you need to do in order to transfer the DMP. http://www.dec.ny.go...door/10000.html

But I can certainly guaranty you all one thing that the whole situation put a really bad taste in my mouth AND that this will NEVER happen again.

On a side note, both my brother in laws said that next time they are going to switch my father in law's ammo and give him blanks. :P

Edited by Deerthug
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Red Experienced

Red

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i 100% agree with ny antler. no way i would have drove up there to hand over my tag if i decided i was gonna let him have it one of them would have had to drive back for it but if i didnt offer up the tag befor he shot the deer he wouldve been sol.

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Deerthug Newbie

Deerthug

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Next year, keep your DMP info secret lol!

You read my mind!

DeerThug, no matter how you look at it, IT @#@^$& sux. I try not to go hunting with one of my brother in laws because he does things like that on a consistent basis. Its been over 20 years since I've gone hunting with an in law.

Karp, I hear ya! But this is the first time this has ever happened. Even his son texted me tonite and asked me on a scale of "1 to Chris Brown" how PO'ed were you? I answered back and told him let your imagination run wild. . . :spiteful:

Regardless of all the above, this will NOT happen again!!

BTW, ended up going to church with my family tonite and said a prayer for him and for my sanity! :crazy:

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Four Season Whitetail's Newbie

Four Season Whitetail's

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You bet ya!! I would have said sorry but that tag has been already been used by another friend. You could explain to him that if mabey you would have known things would be different but as of now there is no tag to be had. He broke the law on shooting the deer and im sure he would have broke the law on getting it out. Wife or no wife i would neve be in that position again and i would let my wife know so. They used you once and they will do it again. I would cut the ties. The wife wont let you sleep on the couch long and sometimes its a very comfy place to sleep!!!

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growalot Newbie

growalot

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I believe you should re-read the rules on this as cnymuzguy also pointed out...your father in-law didn't take the deer legally and should be reminded of that ....I would not have driven up ....he should have made arrangements to come and get it ....Sorry you were stuck in such a hard place...never easy

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Deerthug Newbie

Deerthug

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I believe you should re-read the rules on this as cnymuzguy also pointed out...your father in-law didn't take the deer legally and should be reminded of that ....I would not have driven up ....he should have made arrangements to come and get it ....Sorry you were stuck in such a hard place...never easy

You are right. It's never easy when you deal with family especially when they put you in such a predicament. I've learned my lesson. I assure you its never happening again.

The last thing im going to say is I believe it's written in the stars that next week I'll be putting down the big 8 that's still floating around and then I'm gonna rub it in all their faces! Lol.

Edited by Deerthug
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nyantler Apprentice

nyantler

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What really makes this bad and I don't think anyone mentioned it.. is that dad already filled a dmp that he had... he did not need to kill another doe... especially when he didn't have a tag!! All the rest just snowballed from there... there is only one person at fault here and it doesn't seem to bother him at all.

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