A conversation you never want to have...

[mossy725]

...but there comes a point when you have to. I tried talking to my buddy about this, and he wouldn't listen. I proceeded to send him this email (see below). I just don't get ignorance....

Hey man - this is not a lecture, by any means - but I do hope you listen.

I sat on this for a couple days, and let myself calm down a bit. As a hunter, and your friend, I was extremely disappointed in the choices you made hunting on Saturday morning. When I got close to your tree stand, I had a hard time finding you, because you had no orange on. When people shoot at a deer, they are suppose to identify their background. Had someone shot at a deer from down below you, or up above you, they never would have seen you in a tree, including myself! Just look at the school bus accident that happened here in Randolph.

Then, you proceeded to lower your gun, loaded. Not only did it put yourself in danger, but it put me in danger too. Had the rope broken, the gun accidentally gone off, or ANYTHING else, that gun could have discharged, hitting you or me.

I value my life, and my friend's lives, and take every precaution necessary to ensure my own safety and theirs. I don't want to be another statistic, and either walk up and find you dead, or the chance of me being killed by someone else's poor decisions. I tried calmly talking to you about it below your tree, and you quickly dismissed me. This is why I walked away from your tree, and am now sending you an email.

I don't care what "god's plan is," as you mentioned to me earlier in the weekend, when I was trying to be safe and make sure nobody got hurt or shot, walking around your land. There's no room for ignorance and complacency with hunting. Just take a look around you, and read the news. Another hunter was killed last night in Stockton.

I enjoy hunting with you, but if you're going to continue making these decisions, then unfortunately I can't hunt with you anymore.

[Paula]

Good for you

[sits in trees]

when they start with the ole "well it's Gods plan", then it's conversation over for me...

Edited December 5, 2011 by sits in trees

[Geno C]

right on... the people you choose to hunt with have to understand the decisions they make in the field do not just affect them it affects the ones they hunt with and near. Including those who they dont know. accident do happen and they happen all to often, so to practice safety and proper gun handling is very important. above and beyond safety, its important your hunting partner is on the same page as you at all times, especially with ethics. (not to bring it up) but i have seen many hunting partners broken up because of it...

[ny hunter]

I used to hunt with a good buddy untill his brother started to hunt with us.He would do the same no orange,climb to his stand with the gun on his back,throw candy wrappers on the floor,you name it this jerk did it.I tried to talk to both.But in the end I found a new party to hunt with.Some guys just don't understand these are high powered rifles,there is no room for a mistake.........

[mossy725]

The no orange in the tree stand bothered me, but then when I watched him lower his gun loaded, the rage and furry inside my was unbelievable.

[ny hunter]

At least tell him to put on an orange hat.Something so he can be seen....

[screamon demon]

Good for you

What a world we live in where two grown men cant have this discussion face to face. This is not a knock on Muzzy since he tried to approach it in the woods. It's just a shame that we rely so much on nonpersonal manners of conversation rather than a real face to face discussion. As evidence by bulletin board bantering, arguing, and debating that happens everywhere.

[A Sportsman]

Hey Mossy,

Your concerns are valid. Your buddy, as your hunting partner, must take them seriously and address them appropriately. If he chooses to either ignore you or treat you with anything but respect, forget about him. And consider yourself ahead of the game for finding out "how things are", now, before someone gets hurt. If your friend is really someone worth having around your deer camp, he will undoubtedly come through for you here and he will respect you for having the guts to confront him. I've been in your shoes and have seen both outcomes come to fruition. Good luck man.

[5.9cummins]

Sometimes a true friend is the only one who is willing to say what needs to be said while every one else sticks there head in the sand.

You did just that.

I had a similar but different situation earlier this year and to my knowledge i am the only "friend" that spoke up. So far the situation seems to be on the right track.

If your buddy comes around give your self a big pat on the back. If not move on and as was already said your are a head of the game.

Just my 2 cents.

Edited December 5, 2011 by 5.9cummins

[cboy18]

safety first

[sampotter]

You did the right thing. As for having the conversation in person VS in writing- its easier to think carefully about what you write rather than what you say in the heat of the moment. Also- waiting a couple of days to clear your head was a good idea too for the same reason. You have to stand up for what you believe in.

[nyantler]

Amen... thats how more should handle those types of situations... it gives the fella some time to mull over what you said because he can't just open his mouth and dismiss it right away.. or tune you out and sometime you just can't get the words out correctly when it happens because you are a bit ticked that he'd put you in the position of even having to confront him about it. If he is any kind of friend he'll get it and change his ways.. if not he really isn't much of a friend.

[132 eight pointer]

I respect you for trying to relay your feelings and beliefs to your friend like an adult. Now it is his turn to discuss or accept your message like an adult.Too many people these days cannot do this.I once told a friend that his shotgun muzzle was pointing at me as he was holding the gun.His snotty answer was that the safety was on. Don't hunt with him anymore.

[Contender]

For me there are no second chances when it comes to gun safety. The minute I realize a hunting partner is making unsafe moves , I am done. In my opinion, safety in the woods is learned early in a hunting career, it should be deeply ingrained in the hunters mind and it should be automatic , you shouldn’t need to think about it.

I doubt very much if an unsafe hunter can be changed. I may be wrong, but I find for my own piece of mind and enjoyment of the hunt, it is best not to stick around to find out. I will not waste my hunting time wondering what this guy is going to do next.

In 42 years of hunting, I have gone through a long list of partners. Most have been given many chances in cases of oversleeping, showing up late, wanting to leave early, canceling at the last minute etc. I put up with this kinda stuff for a little while then I move on.

In the case of safety, a second chance is just that, a second chance for an accident to happen. That is not for me.

I am now a lone wolf, I hunt when I want and how I want and don’t have to wait or change my plans for anyone and most of all, I don’t have to worry about the actions of a partner.

It works for me.

[Gthphtm]

Two True stories,First one happened many years ago on a very popular part of state land at that time,during Rifle season,I was watching this nice buck coming down the side of a hill to me,I take a shot at it and hit it,all of a sudden this guy starts cursing at me from a tree stand in full camo and said are you trying to kill me,now he was 20 yards.away from the deer and I said no not you the deer which I just did.And are you cursing at yourself for not wearing any orange so that people could see you up in that tree.

The second happened four times in the last week.I am much older now with a heart problem so I use my ATV to get around my property which is on the side of a hill.The ATV is Red.My yellow Lab loves to come with me and ride on the back,all hunting season I tie a large Orange scarf on his neck and I wear a orange hat also.He was trained not to bark at and run after Deer,I tell him they are your friends and no to scare them.Each of the four times a deer walked by us as close as 10 feet stopped looked at the 2 of us and gust kept on walking,not spooked at all.

[magnumhunt]

Safety First!! If its your own land you dont have to wear orange, I mostly hunt state land and always wear orange. Bringing the gun down loaded, thats just plain Stupid. I probably would have called him instead of sending email.

[grampsretired3]

It seems you have to be safe for two people?

[fasteddie]

Safety First!! If its your own land you dont have to wear orange, I mostly hunt state land and always wear orange. Bringing the gun down loaded, thats just plain Stupid. I probably would have called him instead of sending email.

You aren't required to wear Orange in New York State . I don't hunt without it during gun season , even on Private property . Some dumb asses shoot at anything that moves . I prefer to live a few more years and not become a statistic !

[erussell]

It's never Gods plan for anyone to just be plain stupid. God put a head on his shoulders, now he should try and use the grey matter between his ears to try and keep it on his shoulders and not splattered all over the tree tops. I was hunting with one of my friends one time and he had his gun cradled in his arms and we were standing there talking. He kept turning and pointing to where he was hunting and not watching where the barrel of his loaded gun was pointed. I told him if that barrel points at me again I am going to wrap my shotgun around you head. It didnt point at me anymore.

[arrow nocker]

im glad my only hunting partner is my uncle.And he wears orange and alot of it.And he is a marksman shot.One shot one kill.I have no fear of hunting with him.

Saw a guy i know doing a drive last sunday with no orange at all on.Him nor his GF.Ya dude you are cool.LOL.

[nyslowhand]

Mossy725,

I agree with your opinions, ethics and reasoning 150%.

But... Why an eMail?

Like breaking up with a GF thru a text message. lol

Have we lost the ability to communicate in person in this electronic age?

Is he really that stubborn and unapproachable?

[mossy725]

Mossy725,

I agree with your opinions, ethics and reasoning 150%.

But... Why an eMail?

Like breaking up with a GF thru a text message. lol

Have we lost the ability to communicate in person in this electronic age?

Is he really that stubborn and unapproachable?

Read the entire OP. I tried talking to him, he wouldn't listen. I put it down in words, and he called me last night and apologized and said he was very appreciative of me pointing these things out.

Everyone is different. Not everyone can talk about things, or listen to things in this case. By writing it down, he was able to read it, a few times, digest it and realize he screwed up, big time.

Why judge? Why question what other people do? Does it make you feel better?

[screamon demon]

Mossy725,

I agree with your opinions, ethics and reasoning 150%.

But... Why an eMail?

Like breaking up with a GF thru a text message. lol

Have we lost the ability to communicate in person in this electronic age?

Is he really that stubborn and unapproachable?

I dont know if any of you fella's ready Justin Shit My Dad Says. If not I suggest you google and take a look. You will be pissing your pants. Anyway I saw today a conversation that the guy put up on the. Kind of fits here - Made me laugh made me think. http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/322261cd73/why-internet-commenters-will-eventually-end-the-world

Sorry for the mini Thread Jack

[Skillet]

You handled that well, I'm glad he responded so well. Hopefully he pays more attention in the future.