It happened one Easter...

[steve863]

Prison ain't too bad.  Free room and board, wifi and a gymnasium.  I guess I'm getting something in return for all the tax money I've paid NYS over the years.  The showers can be a bit tough, but there was always someone trying to screw me when I was a free man, too, so not much has changed.  Pygmy will be paying me a visit this weekend.  Said he'd bring me a home baked cake for Easter!!

 

 

 

[crappyice]

.....And while STEVE863 was in the pokey, he met another inmate, and asked him what Easter dinner was like in the joint? The other inmate said robo spam, with a side of........

...cauliflower and eggs. It turns out that Biz and Nomad are moonlighting as prison chefs.
If they can convince the warden to pick up an Air Fryer and sous vide machine their culinary masterpieces will reach new height, but....


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[Robhuntandfish]

....the Warden, "W"NYbuckhunter, had other plans.   Since it was his birthday and the best the boys made was cauliflower and eggs when he wanted backstraps and beers,he released Steve on his own recognizance as long as he promised to return with a giant cake......

[moog5050]

46 minutes ago, Robhuntandfish said:

....the Warden, "W"NYbuckhunter, had other plans.   Since it was his birthday and the best the boys made was cauliflower and eggs when he wanted backstraps and beers,he released Steve on his own recognizance as long as he promised to return with a giant cake......

And right on schedule, jerkman picked him up in front of the prison.  Armed with a 458 SOCOM and box of chocolates, they drove directly to ....

[Pygmy]

Jerkman's penthouse....He said  CAKE  ??   All we have here is cake and cock, and we just ran out of CAKE !!

Steve,   not possessing a giant cake,  was suddenly face to face with a giant......

[dbHunterNY]

Steve closed his eyes and couldn't bare the view.  he sensed something was coming hard and fast. Whack! He hit the flloor in a daze. His face hurt like hell from whatever it was that connected. Was his vision restored? It was but shielding everything from his view was the presence of a white cloud of dust. WNYBuckhunter had antiqued him! "Where's my tractor?!" WNYBuckhunter said. Before Steve could utter a word the penthouse suite doors flung open and......

 

Edited March 29, 2018 by dbHunterNY

[Robhuntandfish]

There was the tractor glowing in the sunshine.  They boarded the tractor and pondered where to go....the answer was evident.  They headed to G man's lair , the "G spot".  He must know where to find a big cake as he always passes on the small ones......

[Steuben Jerry]

As they were traveling, they rounded a bend and saw a deer laying in the road. A small button buck, hit by a car but still alive. They stopped the tractor, and as they were pondering what to do next, a shot rang out from the nearby brush. Everyone was startled, but then noticed the button buck had stopped moving. With no obvious wounds, they were puzzled by the circumstances. "Who's there?" shouted WNYBuckhunter. Hearing a rustling in the brush, a shadowy figure emerged. It was Wolc123. It was obvious now, that the young button buck was dispatched with the patented Texas Heart Shot, a shot requiring great skill, and reserved for only the most unique circumstances. As Wolc123 approached the group, he set down his rifle and said...

[Robhuntandfish]

"Praise God and this heavenly tractor (tractor still glowing in the sunlight)!  This buck according to the PA chest girth chart will weigh somewhere around 2000 pounds and yield 1999 pounds of meat and I sure dont want to drag it" So they loaded up the button buck in the bucket with it almost tipping over the tractor and they were off to .......

[wolc123]

Four Seasons Whitetails ranch to roast the "fatted-calf".  Chefhunter arrived with his butt-out tool, using it as a bore gauge to verify the "perfect" shot placement and to remove the large intestines as clean as a whistle.   The undamaged tenderloins were given to FSW/RWH.  He ate them raw, and immediately converted from a trophy hunter to a full-fledged meat hunter, repeating as he wandered off that "its brown-down from now on".   Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

Edited March 30, 2018 by wolc123

[BizCT]

Wtf is this thread? I see my name everywhere....


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[WNYBuckHunter]

Agent Biz and Agent Grow pulled up in the Grand Marquis. Everyone wondered if Agent Grow was there to issue Wolc a ticket for shooting the button buck out of season, but she opened the trunk and pulled out a stack of cardboard. She grabbed Biz by the arm and dragged him toward the woods with the cardboard, a stapler and duct tape in the other hand and told him sternly "Come on little man, were building us a new love nest.....I mean ground blind for deer season this year!"...

[BizCT]

Agent Biz and Agent Grow pulled up in the Grand Marquis. Everyone wondered if Agent Grow was there to issue Wolc a ticket for shooting the button buck out of season, but she opened the trunk and pulled out a stack of cardboard. She grabbed Biz by the arm and dragged him toward the woods with the cardboard, a stapler and duct tape in the other hand and told him sternly "Come on little man, were building us a new love nest.....I mean ground blind for deer season this year!"...

As the 2 agents made their way deep into the woods, Biz heard a loud crack and then watched in agony as a 238ft California redwood (also known as a widow maker) came crashing down. It pulverized grow. Biz knew only 1 way to handle the loss, he headed back to the ranch in hopes of finding a bunch of groupies, but instead found.....


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[grampy]

....agent grow sitting there drinking green tea, with 247 cords of redwood logs neatly stacked and covered. Agent Biz just stood there in disbelief, scratching his head and nether regions, and proclaimed....

[WNYBuckHunter]

"I am so glad you are ok, and thanks for stacking the firewood! Now, lets get back to building our love nest!". As the happy couple headed back into the woods, a giant pink bunny suit wearing guy ran up to Agent Biz and said...

[Lawdwaz]

1 hour ago, WNYBuckHunter said:

"I am so glad you are ok, and thanks for stacking the firewood! Now, lets get back to building our love nest!". As the happy couple headed back into the woods, a giant pink bunny suit wearing guy ran up to Agent Biz and said...

.....”just wait until Mr B gets a hold of little Bizzy boy.  He’ll grind that peckerhead up and feed ‘em to Angel.”

 

[Steuben Jerry]

As Biz pondered this new development, he felt a little queasy at the thought of his pending fate at the hands of Mr. B. He decided to make a break for it. Running through the leaf blown trails, he spotted River's stand. He climbed up and hunkered down. He knew he was at least temporarily safe, as no one would think to look for Biz in a tree-stand. After all, he was certainly no cheater! 

As he hid in the stand, he heard a noise approaching. Kind of like an ATV, but he also heard voices. As the noise crept closer and closer, he spotted a new side by side, and finally recognized the voice as a radio broadcast of an Alex Jones show. Hoping this was his lucky break, he jumped out of the stand, and ran up to greet the driver of the side by side.

"Papist" Biz gratefully shouted and he jumped in the passenger side. The driver turned his head to face him and...

[Robhuntandfish]

..... He said "better wear this".. and handed him a tin foil hat just like the one he was wearing.  "Where we are going your gonna need it, the truth is out there" pointing at the posted property up ahead .   So with a stomp on the gas pedal they.......

Edited March 30, 2018 by Robhuntandfish

[Pygmy]

sped across the property line..Rounding a corner in the trail, they  had to skid to a halt to keep from hitting Bubba, who was cleverly disguised in a blaze orange hooded KKK robe....

Edited March 30, 2018 by Pygmy

[philoshop]

...headed toward commandeering  BurmJohn's home computer and the HNY site, forever stifling any negative feedback. But they knew not of "The Burm's" great powers of foresight, and were confronted with...

[dbHunterNY]

....a trail of empty tide pods. it was then believed the great and powerful Burmjohn had recruited millennials as a backup, knowing full well they'd protect any and all information found and read on the internet. bubba still with an arrow wound in his a** would be clearly in poor condition for any journey on foot.  with the potential for hoards of minority millennials nearby Papist and Biz said "hop in now or we're leaving!" and then....

[grampy]

....left the buttock wounded bubba, standing there, with mouth agape and eyes wide, with a sign around his neck that said, "I talk turkey". So the two mismatched riders scooted away at full speed, and a cloud of dust, right to Culvercreek hunt club! Slamming on the brakes, doing a 360, with tinfoil hats askew, there came to their ears a sound, that gave them chills to the core. Turning slowly, faces covered in snot and dust.......

Edited March 30, 2018 by grampy

[Steuben Jerry]

...they were horrified to see a tall, hulking, hair covered figure blocking their way. As the unidentifiable figure menacingly approached them, they strained their eyes to make out exactly what they were looking at. Was it a Squatch?, Moog in a ghillie suit? Suddenly, their blood ran cold as they realized what it was...

Edited March 30, 2018 by Steuben Jerry

[philoshop]

...Paula's beagles stacked up in a giant ghillie suit sounding loudly as they approached with cold six-packs in their backpacks, anxious to rescue the stricken and beleaguered HNY'ers . The dust would be beaten back, for now. But did the Culvercreek Hunt Club have dry firewood inside? And was this winter or summer?...

[Robhuntandfish]

...afraid to ask because he knew they shoot trespassers, Biz jumped off the side by side and Papist took off followed by several black helicopters.   Knowing he had to find some common sense help he headed to the voice of reason......Grampy .... who offered this advice.......

Edited March 30, 2018 by Robhuntandfish