Hunting Partner Break-Up?

[phade]

...such a Dr. Phil topic.

Been hunting with a partner for 5+ years now and gotten to the point scouting, prep, stand work, etc. is done hand-in-hand. During this time, I could count the times I've went solo to do hunting work on one hand. Even been routinely DIY out of state each year partnered up.

Not really a sour grapes event or story, just that times change, availability changes, priorities/desire changes during one's life. The real impact is losing ground and having to transition back to doing all things solo, which I did for 10 years prior to partnering up (although I was a much less experienced hunter and was in the "shed blood" stage). I'm starting to see the writing on the wall in my case and I'm proactively trying to limit any disruption to my hunting adventures and pursuits.

The big thing for me is going to be stand setting and work, lacking prime local ground, and solo DIY out of state. I have availability to OK-at best land, but potential for 3.5+ y/o bucks will be pretty minimal.

Anyone deal with it in the past?

[WNYBuckHunter]

Yep. Been there. Sucks, and I felt a little bad for doing it, but it has to be done sometimes.

[bubba]

I was with the same hunting party for over 25 years. After a few run ins and one of the crew playing one side against the other, I broke off and bought land of my own. As much as I miss the old crew, I enjoy the fact, I am no longer worrying about who is gonna say or do what and who will get blamed for crap.

[virgil]

^{i had been hunting with the same partner for over twenty years- since the tenth grade. we used to be best of friends- were each best man at the others' wedding. over the last few years, he's become flaky and unreliable and just not much of a friend. shortly after the 2010 hunting season ended, we had a disagreement/misunderstanding and haven't spoken since. didn't even hear from him last hunting season. luckily, i bought my own land a few seasons ago and am content to hunt alone. it's a shame how things happen sometimes. we always talked about owning our own land and hunting together for the rest of our lives- and having our kids hunt with us. now, i finally own land; we each have young kids; and we don't even speak to each other.}

[phade]

Buying my own land is in the financial plans and actively being worked on, but I estimate that I am 4-5 years away from reaching the point of purchase. Cest la vie, or however that goes.

[solon]

been there done that.. fortunately I have one hunting partner I've been hunting with for 25+ years, but others have come and gone...There was one guy i hunted with for 10 years, then we went on an out of state hunt in Colorado, returned, dropped him off at his house and haven't spoken too him since and that was in 1999...everything in life changes...sometimes it's others, sometimes it ourselves

[bubba]

I can not speak for all situations, but in mine it was due to one guy bowing down to his wife who would not let him hunt and the almighty beer can. For 3 or 4 years, we kept asking and he kept saying yes then not show up, so after a while we quit asking. Well he then went to family members of his who also hunted complaining we never asked him we went without him things like that. Well from there it ballooned into him making accusations of jacking deer mostly against myself and another party member. We mostly hunted state land in our area, but one member owns 64 acres or so in my area, and he lives in the Rochester area. Well it was his brother who was stirring all the trouble. I was asked not to hunt the private land, due to accusations I was hunting nights and parking my truck under his stand as well as bringing uninvited people there to hunt. The last deer I shot there, he was in a stand in the meadow and I was down in the woods. When I came out I asked if he would help me to get it in my truck. He said you shot the fing thing you take care of it, and walked away. Unlike most of the people who showed up there, I always shared my meat and had a summer cookout and invited them all. That ended it for me. However the next year even after I stopped hunting with them, he was telling his neighbors he caught me spotlighting and jacking deer on the property. Funny thing was he told them he caught me in my old truck, I had sold off 6 months earlier. He lives in the same town I do, but I have not spoken to him in three years. I just do not get what he thought he accomplished. I guess it takes all kinds. I bought my piece of land and have not looked back. If anyone of them wanted to come and spend a weekend hunting at my camp, they are welcome.

Edited April 5, 2012 by bubba

[phade]

My particular situation is not spurred on by issues or spats thankfully...it's just a facet of changing times (less of it) paired with increased responsibilites on both sides. It's not the point of not talking, but interactions are getting further apart because life is so busy. I'm sure we'll stay friends but it's not going to be a case of partnership any longer.

[northernborn]

change is always a pita.

Very few hunting partners of mine besides my brothers ever had the same interests as I have to the degree I have. Hunting and fishing every day I end up with a variety of partners, one loves to fish ultra light fly rods and spinning as much as I do and we do that together, he has no interest in saltwater fishing or bowfishing and I have other buddies that live and breath the salt and the bowfishing so I team up with them for those trips, another is a die hard squirrel nut so we hunt together for them, others are only into grouse or BP and so that is when we get together, some only like boating trips, others only big game in the west,

I only have one partner who will tag along on any adventure and he works full time now on day shift so we have limited time to get together the last 20 years, as soon as he retires ( could ahve last year the greedy bugger, lol) I expect we will see more of each other as we did back in the 80s

99% of my hunting trapping fishing tracking is done alone or with my hounds along, though I make attempts to involve my friends, If going for bull bluegills with the 1 wt. I call that buddy, same for river smallies pushing 4 pounds, I give the smallie buddy a call, pronghorns, elk moose, crows bowfishing, etc I give the right guy a heads up I am heading out for that which he loves to go after or where he likes to go, but schedules being what they are we can only get together when we can.

Some of them find friends to go with more often whose schedules or lifestyles are a better fit and I wish them luck, and I wish you luck adapting to the new hunting scenario too.

[hunter49]

My first partner & I were like brothers all through high school. We hunted ,fished , did everything together into our 20's. Then he got married , his wife told me don,t even call their house. I figured he would fix that & call if he wanted to get together, never heard from him again! She did that to all his friends, they got devoriced 7yrs. later. The second partner was great same thing hunted , fished together all the time 10- 12 yrs. every thing was great then he ups & dies on me at age 47! That was16 yrs. ago. Been pretty much alone ever sense. Get to hunt with son in law & a few buddies now and then but just not the same as a regular partner that you get to know how each other hunt & fish when together. S*#ks

[Geno C]

over the years ive seen alot of hunting friendships tested for whatever reason and more often then not they dont make it... I was just thinking about this topic the other day about how fast hunting partnerships are broken up and never regained over this sport.

[phade]

Yeah, it seems like lots of things can get in the way just based on responses here...hunting differences are a big part of many issues, but so are non-hunting related ones, too. Sounds like marriages (right or wrong) are a big factor as are jobs and family requirements.

[Doc]

My Brother-in-law was my hunting partner for quite a few decades. He drove all the way down from Ontario Canada every bow and gun season and a bunch of times in between. We even built a cabin up on the hill that we hunted out of for a lot of years. However, as luck would have it, his employer re-assigned him to Thunder Bay just north of Minnesota. If you look on the map, that is a bit far for spur of the moment hunting trips ....lol. Once in a while he will re-arrange his vacation schedule for a couple of weeks of gun season, but has pretty much given up the bow, and most of the time he has to use his hunting time for the excellent moose hunting that he has up there.

So it doesn't always have to be any kind of run-in, bad-blood or argument that ends a partnership. Sometimes that's just the way life deals the cards.

[Paula]

I hunt alone and i like it

[bubba]

I hunt with whom I choose and I like that.

[apoallo]

I understand completely.. Me and my buddy have always hunted set up etc.. together he got married and had a child. we hung out less. then one day we got together and started up seeing more of each other again. I got married and had a child, at the same time my buddy had a second child, his kids DOB was 3 days after mine. He also started a new career as a corrections officer in NYC. so not only do we talk less now but cell contact is also limited due to his job. we also live about an hour apart. I have hunted many times without him, however,,,... twice a year we go up to the hunting camp once in the spring for guys weekend and once in the regular gun season. these trips consist of lots of beer, booze, bullshit, and some hunting. Opening day of gun season we always make it tradition to hunt together. Its perfect for the situations we are currently in..

[fasteddie]

I hunt alone and i like it

Ditto ! I hunt alone most of the time and it works for me . Sometimes I hunt with one or both of my sons that deer hunt . I will be 71 this coming season but I can still get around and drag or haul my own deer but sometimes it's nice to have company .

I never deer hunted until I was 24 and my father in law got me started . After a few years , he quit hunting and a year later I did also as I didn't want to hunt alone . My sister in law bought some property in Geneseo and asked me if I wanted to hunt with her . I got back into it and it was a great property to get deer . Around 1994 I started bow hunting and really enjoyed being able to hunt alone .

Somewhere around 2000 , my oldest son started deer hunting and we hunted together . He bought property in Italy Valley a few yaers ago and we hunted there and he took up bow hunting , got bored after shooting several deer with the compound and switched to a recurve and made his own arrows . About 5-6 years ago my youngest son started deer hunting .

I guess I am pretty lucky !

[erussell]

Gone through several hunting partners, My roommate back a few yrs ago was my first hunting partner. We were always in the woods, if it wasnt hunting we were fishing or hiking or mushroom picking. Then I got married and then he got married and we had a few kids and all that went away. I lost his ph# when my cell took a dump and I turned off my internet so no more facebook and I havent talked to him in a yr. My Brother was my next hunting partner and I was standing right next to him when he shot his first deer. I remember back during the doe permit craze days he got 3 permits one season and filled them all a 1/2 mile back in the woods about 3 min into the season starter. I walked over after all the shooting and just looked at him and said, OK now how do you think we are going to get all these deer out of here? And he was like I didnt think of that! I wanted to kill him after we loaded the second deer into the back of the truck, was dead tired and had to go back in for the 3rd one. Good times He went in the Army not soon after that and when he got out him and his family moved to NC. I talk to him about once a yr.

[burmjohn]

I guess I have been fairly lucky. I still hunt with the people that introduce me to the sport, along with my brother and others I have introduced. We have 1 person that no longer hunts with us other then those who have passed on.

[Paula]

I would be opened to hunting with someone if i knew them well enough and just not where i hunt now

[nyantler]

I guess I am lucky to have the best of both worlds... I own my own land... lease land.. and have hunted with the same group of guys in a camp in the ADK's for 25 years . I am never at the mercy of anyone else... usually I hunt alone... but I truly enjoy hunting with my buddies up north... which I do many weekends during the deer season... we have our occasional disagreements, but the amount of respect we have for one another keeps any argument in check... our friendships are way more important than any one mans opinion. Any time you get a group of guys together you are going to have differences of opinions or ideas. If it ever gets where I'm no longer having fun with the guys, then I'll move on to whatever works better for me.. sometimes thing just don't work out and definitely things always change over the years.

If you're a young guy.. its better to experience the changes early so that you can move on and get settled elsewhere. Tolerance sometimes helps make things go smoother... biting your tongue for the greater good, which for me is spending time with gentlemen that I enjoy and respect... doing what we all love to do.

[phade]

Interesting topic - especially since it appears to impact almost every hunter who has posted in the thread, except for the lone wolf type.

[Doc]

Well, it's fun when the hunting day is done, or when re-convening at some point in the day, to have someone to tell what you saw and some of the different results of your hunting. And it's great to be telling this stuff to someone who is truly interested and cares (as opposed to a housewife that is bored with tales of hunting exploits .... lol). It's also fun and useful to occasionally talk hunting strategy. It's also good to hear how things went at another different area of the woods. The conversations are just a great part of the hunt. Rather than having to wait until Thanksgiving family get-togethers to swap stories, you have someone there on a daily basis to talk hunting with. That's all good stuff and adds to the quality of the hunt.

[GreeneHunter]

I hunted with a brother-in-law for 10+ years , we dragged alot of deer out of the woods together , put up tree stands together , knew where each other would be in the woods at a certain time frame ..... and then Divorce . I miss hunting with him !!!

[Doc]

I hunted with a brother-in-law for 10+ years , we dragged alot of deer out of the woods together , put up tree stands together , knew where each other would be in the woods at a certain time frame ..... and then Divorce . I miss hunting with him !!!

I wonder how many hunting partnerships are destroyed by one of them divorcing their wife. I had another brother-in-law many years ago that I did a lot of hunting with, and when he divorced my sister, we almost never saw him again. I guess it didn't matter that no one really held any hard feelings about their marital break-up, but I suppose there was a bit of an awkward feel about hunting going on as usual. In fact, he gave up hunting entirely.