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Upper GI & Colonoscopy

Lawdwaz

By Lawdwaz,
in General Chit Chat

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Pygmy
Pygmy

Good luck, Larry.. I hope you turn out to be a perfect a**hole !!....<<grin>>...

Doewhacker
Doewhacker

T.M.I. Elmo! What did the Lady Dr do with the other 9.5 inches of Q-tip that she didn't need?

First-light
First-light

W/O even looking at the poster I knew who wrote this!

Paula Mentor

Paula

Posted
Posted

Wrong.........the dude didn't want to sit on a pizzed on seat so he was doing the "chick thing" but he was hovering too high. <grin>

I agree, not even sure if it could be called squatting. lol But i have to say i am not sure if guys understand how hard it is for women to use either a public bathroom or someone else. My husband was in hospital last week for a few day and its disgusting how filthy it is in there. You wouldn't believe what i had to do to use the bathroom and what has to be done just to get out of one. lol

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Lawdwaz Grand Master

Lawdwaz

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I just had a funny thought. True story too..............

I guess it was 1980 or maybe 81, I was working at a local service station and 20 years old. My buddy Rob, a big guy (6'4" 375 then) was working with me. It was probably 8:00 at night and we were getting ready to start cleaning the place up for the night. Our uniform was a one piece coverall, blue with a real fancy Exxon patch sewed on.

Well, Rob says "I gotta go smoke one" and head to the can. 10 minutes later he comes back and says "I have a problem Larry, what should I do?" I said "what happened?" He says "I went to pull my coveralls back up and my tire pressure gauge fell into the bowl and harpooned a turd"

I don't recall what he did but I assure you I was of no help! True story.

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hunter49 Newbie

hunter49

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A foreman at work hung his pics over his desk & showed everyone , they looked like glazed donuts! He always was an A-hole anyway!

I want to know how my Dr. checks my prostate gland from behind when he has both hands on my shoulders ??

Edited by hunter49
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Elmo Rookie

Elmo

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You don't want to sit on a toilet seat in a football stadium . A lot of guys are too lazy or too stupid to put the seat up when they take a leak and pee all over it . Tailgating might be a big part of that problem .

That's why I never understood why women would complain with their husbands/boyfriends leave the seat up. I'm thinking you should be glad we left the seat up. That means you know for certain we didn't pee all over it. It's when you see the seat down is when you have to worry.

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ELMER J. FUDD Newbie

ELMER J. FUDD

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They gave me some nexium to try a few weeks ago. The dr figured my chest pain was from acid reflux or something. I grabbed a 6 pack of bud (of all things) and drank 2 with a nexium and dozed off. I woke up bright and early from a fart that didn't turn out so well. It was like hunting early, 5am - ish.

Hey if it isn't on your underwear, it isn't crapping your pants, right? Crapped 4 times that morning. Put a whole new meaning to a term we used in high school... BUD MUDD!

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Elmo Rookie

Elmo

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Last crap story then I'm done.

I use to work for the American Red Cross. During Hurricane Katrina, I was assigned to Mobile, Alabama and Buloxi, Mississippi. I drove around setting up ad-hoc networks for relief workers. Half the time I slept out of the SUV and eating military MRE's. I didn't know then but my brother told me later that military MRE's are design to make you constipated because you don't want to have the runs while out in the field. Did not know. I went to the infirmary and told the nurse that I've been here a whole week and I've taken nothing but a single rabbit turd so she gave me some laxitives. A few more days, still nothing, so she gave me stronger ones. A few more days, still nothing. So she said since my time is up the next day, she figured there was no point in giving me any more. That last night, me and a few of the guys I met down there hit the town. The next morning, they took me to the airport. I'm sitting there waiting and all of a sudden I had to go and go I went. Ran to the bathroom and I completely filled the bowl. I showed that toilet who's boss. Essentially, I dropped 2 weeks worth of crap right there. Got on the plane. An couple of hours in...had to go again. Landed in JFK...had to go again. I was full of crap.

Edited by Elmo
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