ants Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I took a massive dump and took a picture of it with my phone. I then stood in front of my wife staring at my phone with a puzzle look and then said "Man, this looks like crap." Knowing my nosy wife would take the bait, she said "What does? Let me see!" and took the phone from me to look. LOL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunter49 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I bought myself a new Rem. 870 one yr. for X-Mas. I wrapped it & as a joke put a tag with her name on it. When she opened it & saw what it was, that's when the fight started ! Also told her once (as a joke) "You know this marriage thing is sort of like a hot bath, after you're in it a while it's not so hot ! She lol at that one. (45 yrs. & still together I tell her it will never last) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Water Rat Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 My wife sat down next to me on the couch as I was flipping channels. She asked " What's on TV ? " I said " Dust " That's when the fight started.....( not a true story but certainly could be ). 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Nicky Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Mrs. Uncle Nicky told me today, "I want you to take me somewhere new, where I've never been before". I told her "That should be simple, start with the kitchen". And that's when the fight began.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ants Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I occasionally introduce the Mrs. to people, as "my first wife". I still think its funny. She never does. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grampy Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Got in from hunting around noon time and the wife says "I hope you are done hunting for the day. I want to go out." I just looked at her and handed her a pair of gloves and said "fine go put your boots on and you can go OUT to help me drag a deer in" And that my friends is when the fight began........ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elmo Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Wife asked "does this dress makes me look fat?" I said "No, it's your fat that makes you look fat." Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Nicky Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Wife asked "does this dress makes me look fat?" I said "No, it's your fat that makes you look fat." Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk And THAT is when World War III began.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dom Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 The fight started when I said to my wife do not make any plan's for/or with our tax money cause they are already spent.She get's even more pissed cause I will not tell her how I spent the Money Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinsdale Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 I never been married.... This thread is fun to read. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjb4900 Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 I bought myself a new Rem. 870 one yr. for X-Mas. I wrapped it & as a joke put a tag with her name on it. When she opened it & saw what it was, that's when the fight started ! Also told her once (as a joke) "You know this marriage thing is sort of like a hot bath, after you're in it a while it's not so hot ! She lol at that one. (45 yrs. & still together I tell her it will never last) I did the same thing with a Ruger pistol a few years ago....her and the kids got a good laugh out of it. They couldn't figure out what they had bought me when I took the present out from under the tree and started opening it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ELMER J. FUDD Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 Elmo, you can sleep on my couch. Actually, you can sleep in my recliner. I got the couch. Damn dude! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elmo Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 Surprisingly, she took it better than expected. She admits she has gotten lazy and hasn't lost the pregnancy weight and was talking about it while she was trying to fit back into some of her old dresses. It also helped that I used a light tone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreeneHunter Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 I never been married.... This thread is fun to read. If your thinking about getting married , you may want to think about going for a lease agreement .... LOL 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunter49 Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 If your thinking about getting married , you may want to think about going for a lease agreement .... LOL Dinsdale, Why start now ? You made it this far ! Dad would have said " Now there's a smart man ! " When I said I was getting married He asked " what the hell is wrong with me " lol 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
growalot Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 (edited) Any member posted anything....and that's how the fight started... Edited February 13, 2015 by growalot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawdwaz Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 I never been married.... This thread is fun to read. Go ahead and laugh......................when you LEAST expect it, it'll happen! I VERY, VERY wise old man once told me: "you think about getting married until you're 30, then you forget about it" And I didn't listen.......................... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve863 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 (edited) It has been said that a man who does not marry is incomplete. However, if he does he is then finished. Edited February 13, 2015 by steve863 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pygmy Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Steve...Post " The World's Shortest Fairy Tale " again.. It's my favorite..I'm sure some of the members here haven't seen it yet...<<grin>>... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinsdale Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Lawdwaz, on 13 Feb 2015 - 10:51 AM, said: Go ahead and laugh......................when you LEAST expect it, it'll happen! I VERY, VERY wise old man once told me: "you think about getting married until you're 30, then you forget about it" And I didn't listen.......................... There ain't no one who'd put up with me...... Maybe I'll meet a nice New Zealand gal in May......I'm a sucker for an accent. Had an awesome fishing partner who was married first time at 56, so I have 7 more years to match him. We travelled all over Eastern Canada doing fly in trips for years, new wife ended that right quick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elmo Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 There ain't no one who'd put up with me...... Maybe I'll meet a nice New Zealand gal in May......I'm a sucker for an accent. Had an awesome fishing partner who was married first time at 56, so I have 7 more years to match him. We travelled all over Eastern Canada doing fly in trips for years, new wife ended that right quick. Read up on the winter camping thread. If you would have kept him warm in Eastern Canada you guys might still be going on trips together. =P Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinsdale Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Elmo, on 13 Feb 2015 - 10:32 PM, said: Read up on the winter camping thread. If you would have kept him warm in Eastern Canada you guys might still be going on trips together. =P Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Kinda like "Brokeback Float Plane" or somethin' 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
growalot Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Pygmy where are you!!!! I count on you to tell "those kind " of jokes...it keeps me out of trouble lol 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
growalot Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 (edited) Speaking of...HAPPY VALENTINES DAY...remember..if your thinking of proposing...wait until tomorrow! If things go bad you did'nt give That $$$$ ring as a gift...it is a symbol of a contract and you can get it back...that's how the fight started....lol Edited February 14, 2015 by growalot 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pygmy Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Pygmy where are you!!!! I count on you to tell "those kind " of jokes...it keeps me out of trouble lol Sorry, Growie... I must be off my game...<<sigh>>... You're not the FIRST woman that I ever disappointed... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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