True Story - work buddy busted

[Al Bundy]

My coworker tells me this story which happened at work.  He was walking by a woman hes known and friends with 10+ years.  It appears she has a new tattoo so he stops and talks to her about it. At some point he reached out and touched her shoulder with his finger, where the new tattoo was. Next day hes called into HR office and there is now a complaint filed against him by two people who observed this "improper" touching. It made them uncomfortable..... The woman with the tattoo was not at all in the slightest unhappy or thinking anything was improper. Even now she cant believe someone complained about that.  Cant really believe this happened.  Be careful... 

[NYBowhunter]

22 minutes ago, Al Bundy said:

My coworker tells me this story which happened at work.  He was walking by a woman hes known and friends with 10+ years.  It appears she has a new tattoo so he stops and talks to her about it. At some point he reached out and touched her shoulder with his finger, where the new tattoo was. Next day hes called into HR office and there is now a complaint filed against him by two people who observed this "improper" touching. It made them uncomfortable..... The woman with the tattoo was not at all in the slightest unhappy or thinking anything was improper. Even now she cant believe someone complained about that.  Cant really believe this happened.  Be careful... 

The complaint is warranted, there should absolutely be no touching in the work place, as small as you may think this is, it is sexual harrassment to touch someone. My company issues a sexual harrassment course every year to all its employees and by the terms of my companies policy, this infraction as small as you might think it is can be brought to HR and an investigation opened up. Tell your buddy to keep his hands to himself, that simple.

[Paula]

2 minutes ago, NYBowhunter said:

The complaint is warranted, there should absolutely be no touching in the work place, as small as you may think this is, it is sexual harrassment to touch someone. My company issues a sexual harrassment course every year to all its employees and by the terms of my companies policy, this infraction as small as you might think it is can be brought to HR and an investigation opened up. Tell your buddy to keep his hands to himself, that simple.

We get training on this every year. It's to bad it happens in some cases

[Al Bundy]

Not correct. Sexual harassment to touch someone who does not want to be touched.  I think Ill complain next time someone tries to shake my hand. Keep your hands to yourself, afterall.

[Eric J]

Total BS!

[Eric J]

The lady with the Tat would have to complain.....

[Al Bundy]

Anyone ever pat/touch/cup your hand on someones shoulder and say "Good job"? This is what my buddy did, minus the good job statement. 

[NYBowhunter]

4 minutes ago, Al Bundy said:

Not correct. Sexual harassment to touch someone who does not want to be touched.  I think Ill complain next time someone tries to shake my hand. Keep your hands to yourself, afterall.

I stand corrected, please tell your friend hes fine to continue his current conduct. Let me know how that works out for him

[NYBowhunter]

21 minutes ago, Eric J said:

Total BS!

Total BS for who? The guy that just touched somebodies wife, sister, mother etc..

[bugsNbows]

N O N S E N S E !!!

[biggamefish]

33 minutes ago, Paula said:

We get training on this every year. It's to bad it happens in some cases

New law in ny I think all company's a certain size has to go through it. It's small too like 10 people. They have changed all the rules too. Now if you look at a person wrong they can report it. Its crazy and some of it seems overkill but that's they way it is.

[helmut in the bush]

I just did the training, it's nothing like the old day's

[phade]

If the act was witnessed by others they can lodge a complaint. Anyone can lodge a complaint. They might be reaching out because the lady with the tattoo feels uncomfortable and unable to advocate for herself OR they may think that and not know. At the end of the day whether anything is "found" of the issue, the complaint can most certainly be lodged.

I have around 200 people in my org. The rules of the road are many. Best practice is to avoid the pot holes altogether. I shake hands with people and that's it. I can count on one hand how many times I've hugged a peer and it's never initiated by me, and in a social setting. I have too much to lose by frivolous actions so I don't even allow myself to be in that position. I have a harder time in discussion because of my rural background - once I'm comfortable, I put alot of trust in people. I have to constantly remind myself to make sure what I say is not misinterpreted. 

The latest conversation point is the "OK Boomer" comment. Having to explain to the generation that gets offended easily according to some, that you cannot say that in the workplace to more tenured/experienced employees is not easy. 

 

[johnplav]

I work for a huge employer... And according to our policy, if the interaction is as described, it would not be considered sexual harassment.

[NFA-ADK]

"I'm Rick James!"  

Touching someone is not a crime, harming them is!   Should be some sort of reference when applying these rules.  So now when I enter a door, IF I brush up against someone I can claim sexual assault or they can.  They brushed into me I just stood in the doorway.  I could care less if someone pats my sister mom or girlfriend on the shoulder.  Pathetic how society is going!  What do they do if a fight brakes out?  Not allowed to touch!   Crazy!  These stupid rules need to go!  More liberal nonsense from the Dems!  Idiots.  Next we are going to outlaw STRAWS!   

Just did my course a few weeks ago, so dumb.  Bet a lawyer though this one up!  

So IF I work with the police and they actually arrest me CAN I file a complaint that they touched me?  lmao!

[Al Bundy]

Its something like the two people were uncomfortable by his action and not billed as sexual harassment. This was not him being like .."Hey baby you look hot with that tattoo." He walked by and said Hey is that new? She smiled and showed it. He literally inadvertently reached out. There was no thought of " I get a free touch to this woman." Just two people standing talking and two eavesdroppers whom were offended.  I think this is technically against whatever rules, hence my post of be careful. There are people out there who either are offended or quick to capitalize on a situation to screw you. Phade nailed it. Good post.

Edit: ADK... I tried to like your post repeatedly.!!  Apparently I can only like it once.

Edited November 26, 2019 by Al Bundy
ADK memo

[steve863]

I tell you what guys, if you keep up some of your attitudes you will get screwed big time!   I don't like this stuff either, but in today's world there is no such thing as "innocent until proven guilty" in many of these type of situations for a guy, so you better tread cautiously.  If you want to touch a women's tattoo, you'd better be prepared for what might be coming!

 

 

 

Edited November 26, 2019 by steve863

[BizCT]

I just wear a body cam 24/7 

[phade]

2 minutes ago, steve863 said:

I tell you what guys, if you keep up some of your attitudes you will get screwed big time!   I don't like this stuff either, but in today's world there is no such thing as "innocent until proven guilty" in many of these type of situations for a guy, so you better tread cautiously.

 

 

 

Says the person assuming genders. Sheesh. 

Sorry, I couldn't help myself. LOL

Edited November 26, 2019 by phade

[Nytracker]

I'm a union rep . 400 or so employs.  Not only do I have to have a yearly training from the company I also have to for the union.  

We are trained  that if you do anything that is witnessed that makes somebody uncomfortable  they have a complaint. And  personnel  must investigate. Not saying that there has to be punishment  but it usually requires a coaching opportunity and have to sit through a required  harrassment  training  video.

One example  given is if an employee  witnessed two coworkers  in a friendly  hug  and the witnessing employee  finds it uncomfortable and files a complaint  the 2 hugging  employees  will be investigated. 

Its a crock of chit but it is the times we live in.

I had to represent  a heterosexual  married woman who was staring off into space .  A woman of protected status accused  her of staring  at her. Made her uncomfortable.  What an embarrassing  moment for the married woman  and all involved. 

This crap pops up for a month or so after the mandatory  training.  Personally its out of hand .

[steve863]

1 minute ago, phade said:

Says the person assuming genders. Sheesh. 

Sorry, I couldn't help myself. LOL

If you are a white, middle aged straight male in this country, there is NO assuming anything.  You are pretty much considered the lowest form of life and that's about it.  You WILL get screwed before any other category would.

 

[NYBowhunter]

Tha hardest part is when he gets sat down by HR and will have to explain why the need to touch the woman when all she was doing was showing him a tattoo.  Like Phade indicated earlier, why even put yourself in that situation. 

[Big Indian]

My wife’s company is same BS. Everyone is looking to make a buck, or create problems. I’m not saying what this guy did was wrong or right, however we have developed a culture of whiny ass bitches ( men and women) who are offended by everything and everyone. again, the tat woman had no problem with it, why the F do these other workers have to mind someone else’s business?

pussification of America. 

[Al Bundy]

 Yup. No good answer for why. Reactive, without conscious thought  is the best answer and I realize not so good. But thats what it was.  Luckily for him, the woman is in HR and was floored by the fact someone actually complained. This wont go anywhere, but its a lesson to be learned.  Once I nearly told a manager two levels up from me that she looked pretty in her nice new spring dress. I started to say it and luckily only got to "You look" and said "You look happy today".  Sounded weird AF but.... Dont know she would have screwed me or not, but she could have.

[Steve D]

29 minutes ago, steve863 said:

If you are a white, middle aged straight male in this country, there is NO assuming anything.  You are pretty much considered the lowest form of life and that's about it.  You WILL get screwed before any other category would.

 

Saddest thing that ever happen when "groups" of people started getting categorized and categorizing others. We all pull our pants on the same way and if he have social differences so what.

 I am what I am and am not going to act different just so I don't "offend" or hurt someone's feelings.

People need to take of their own image and not worry so much about others.

Edited November 26, 2019 by Steve D