Dad Sayings

[nybuckboy]

My father died in ‘99 and he was my inspiration to hunt, particularly deer.  He used to have some sayings and I’m sure your Dads had a few as well.

 “ you’d complain if you were being hung with a new rope”
                                   was one of his favorites. 

[Robhuntandfish]

When out to dinner waitress always brings water....

My Dad.." I'm thirsty not dirty, how bout a beer.".     "Water is great for going under bridges but you don't drink it." 

 

[cbyzerman]

2 minutes ago, Robhuntandfish said:

When out to dinner waitress always brings water....

My Dad.." I'm thirsty not dirty, how bout a beer.".     "Water is great for going under bridges but you don't drink it." 

 

That is a good one...  I gotta try...  I get annoyed when they bring water but don't take drink order for like 20 minutes..........

[Jeremy K]

My dad had an unbelievable gift to string together swear words when things weren't going as planned when he was fixing something . It always started with " You motherless co..."  . I still use some of his phrases to this day. 

 So one day my dad was working under the hood of his truck as I was coming home from my friends house , i saw the drivers side window open and decided to blow the horn ,well dad had just started to go off on a rant and to this day i don't why i didn't abort the plan to blow the horn , let's just say I was at the point in my running career where I was faster then my dad . Im Sure he would have beat me in broad daylight in front of the neighbors had he caught me LOL. Mad is an understatement. 

Edited March 1, 2020 by Jeremy K

[rob-c]

Better too have it and not need it , then not have it and need it. 
 Deer hunting -
there’s more room around them then on them . 
 

This is mine  that my 2 boys love - 

it’s only illegal if you get caught 

Edited March 1, 2020 by rob-c

[OtiscoPaul]

My dad will be back from Florida in a month to drive me nuts...my favorite:

”it will feel better when it stops hurting”

[Jeremy K]

Another saying I only heard once that sticks with to this day is " There ! Now neither one is better" 

 

My brother and I each got a new matchbox car ,mine was a white OJ bronco and his was a black 57 Chevy, we argued about who's was better until a fight ensued. My dad got up off the coach and picked up both cars ,carried them into the mud room with a concrete floor and flattened both cars with a 5 pound sledge hammer . Then said "There! Now neither one is better"

[GreeneHunter]

My Dad .... " keep your eye's and ear's open and your big mouth shut "  !

[Rattler]

I always tell my kids and grandkids, "I keep your pictures in my wallet where my money used to be."

Edited March 1, 2020 by Rattler

[nybuckboy]

If we were arguing or discussing something my Dad would say “you’ll shit too if you eat regular”

[nybuckboy]

22 minutes ago, OtiscoPaul said:

My dad will be back from Florida in a month to drive me nuts...my favorite:

”it will feel better when it stops hurting”

That’s great!  I could here my Dad say that one. 

Edited March 1, 2020 by nybuckboy

[mowin]

I ate my parents out of house and home.  He'd say " you eat like you've got two aholes".   

[covert]

"Fartin' horse will never tire, fartin' man's the man to hire."

[Nomad]

“ you don’t have to go three feet up a hogs a$$ , just to get a ham sandwich.” 

[Lawdwaz]

11 minutes ago, covert said:

"Fartin' horse will never tire, fartin' man's the man to hire."

My friend's father quipped that one often.......

[Moho81]

A current favorite of mine in when one of the girls come up to me and say "This hurts when I touch it" referencing something on their body. My reply lately has been "Well stop touching it then!"

[Moho81]

My father was more of a story teller versus having a particular saying or two that he always used. To this day at 70 years old I'm still not sure if I should believe 20% of his stories. I'll listen every time though. 

[crappyice]

If “if’s and buts” were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas.

if the queen had balls she’d be king.


Those would follow when I would try to explain away poor test scores or a messed up athletic competition with excuses that pointer the finger away from me.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Zag]

My dad didn't have any I recall, I say to my kid all the time.... If you don't have a plan what do u have?? After he stairs at me for awhile with nothing to say,  I say exactly NOTHING

[grampy]

My grampy......."well, if ya took it apart, ya aught ta know how to git it back together". "Just keep monkeyin with it, you'll get it eventually". He said that anytime I worked on anything at the farm.

Me..... You just might learn something, if you listen.

[Nytracker]

Gramps always said ... if you dont have time to do it right the first time how  will you find time to fix it a second time . Live by that one . 

Always hunt with your nose into the wind ...

Costs more to fix it than if you take care of it in the first place .

A clean machine is easier to fix   than a dirty one .

Had to erase  one .... dont want to offend any ladies...

[Robhuntandfish]

Not from my Dad but one I heard a long time ago and I use...

" Understand all you know about it". 

Edited March 1, 2020 by Robhuntandfish

[Pygmy]

Regardly the tendency for multiple kids to get in trouble...

" One boy is half a boy....Two boys are no boy at all.."

Or when he as annoyed at someone... " Why don't you just go and take a good s**t for yourself ? "

The last time I saw My Dad ( whom I affectionately called " Fat Father" even though he was skinny as a rail)  I was leaving his hospital room and I was busting his chops about something...

He never said a word...He just looked at me and flipped me the bird...

The next morning I got the call that he had passed away....

 

[Water Rat]

I never heard my Dad swear , even when I got into trouble. I do remember him saying " Holy Mackerel Andy".  Lol

[Elmo]

"Whatever you decide to do, be the best at it.  If you can pee further than anyone else, I will pay  money to watch you pee."

"If you don't finish your meal, I will flip you upside down and stuff it down your @$$.  One way or another, we're going to get that food in your stomach."

On layering extra layers - "You can always take layers off if it's hot but you can't put layers on if it's cold."