Anyone elses friends turn lame at age 40?

[UpStateRedNeck]

Anybody else run into this?  Just a big divergence from buddies the last few years.  Still like seeing them once every few weeks.

Maybe I'm the odd one.  When I get together with my buddies, I don't talk about TV.  Alot of "Oh did watch <insert show here>?". Then they rattle off like 5 more shows.  I haven't been able to get anybody to go to a concert in 4 years.  Just asked everybody about the Slipknot / Cypress Hill tour.  Crickets. I'll go to the damn show myself if I have to.  This same group used to go to shows weekly.

Nobody goes outside, except to mow their 1/4 acre lawn.  Maybe I'm just realizing now my college buddies are just way different people than me.

[suburbanfarmer]

Age, life, family duties and priorities change all the time. I am a loner now too with friends who are on only hi/hello basis. 

[WNYBuckHunter]

Yep. Things change. 10 years ago I was going out a lot, hanging out with a different group of people most of the time, etc. Kids, job and personal responsibilities change peoples priorities. Now at 45, most of my time with friends is tied to hunting and fishing. I’ve been out to bars maybe 7-8 times in the last couple of years. It wouldn’t have been much more than that if Covid hadn’t happened either. 

[rob-c]

40 ? Mine was actually in my 20’s . I married young (I was only 20 couldn’t legally  drink at my own wedding) . I knew I wanted a family house etc. at a young age and my friends just wanted to party. So I parted ways early and have no regrets doing so . 

Edited January 20, 2022 by rob-c

[LET EM GROW]

Life and personal responsibilities make these changes. I'm 35 now..

I made a TON of friendships over the years through schooling, work, play, family ties and more.. The real reasons people "Disappear" or become lame may never come to the surface. I really miss hanging and doing things with all my good friends, the ones i do still see are typically spent in the hours of darkness calling Cheese Hounds, occassionally chasing spring thunder or the elusives in Fall.

Most people dont know and will never understand, but my Special Needs son, Is our #1 priority. And along with him being our priority, my wife has health issues as well.. These two keep me from doing anything anymore especially this time of year. and I cant rule out, my other 2 children who get neglected many times due to my first two priorites.. then trhow work and life on top of that..

Some do become very lame, that cant be denied.. but sometimes there's more to the story than we know.. or think we know..    

Edited January 20, 2022 by LET EM GROW

[bigpaul]

I found myself to enjoy hunting much more than my friends so I'm pretty much a loner when it comes to that. Mostly every weekend I head to one of my buddy's garages or they come over to my basement and we indulge in some adult beverages and talk about the good ole' days. My one friend and I usually hit a nascar race every year and hit some of the local dirt tracks. I'm 53 and these two guys are 48 and 51.  

[Swamp_bucks]

I’ve dropped friends over the years but there are 4 of us who are still very close and are uncles to each other’s kids.
 

My biggest thing for drifting apart from people is having family, work and other priorities I don’t have time or patience for drama. So if someone constantly causing drama I just part ways. 

[Nomad]

I’ll be 63 in March, give me a call I’m up for anything .

I kept going out with the guys at work till I retired , and have kept up meeting them out ever since , although they slacked off lately .

[Jeremy K]

I've gotten pretty lame since I had kids . A few members here have witnessed the younger version of me peak out once or twice.

[Kmartinson]

8 hours ago, suburbanfarmer said:

Age, life, family duties and priorities change all the time. I am a loner now too with friends who are on only hi/hello basis. 

We have our own path to follow now. Luckily, I find myself with my kids doing the things I used to do with my buddies. I'm also fortunate to have such an amazing supportive wife.

[Robhuntandfish]

used to fish all across NY every weekend with a few buddies.  But life gets in the way and people have families and commitments.  And I these days just got smarter - rather than drive all over the state i live on a great lake for fishing and can be on it in 5 minutes.  Planned it that way.  But our core of closest friends has gotten smaller for sure with all the time we used to spend together.  Everyone has Jobs that are 50+ hours a week and families.  it happens.  My closest friend and i still hunt and fish together all year.  I also get out now with some of the folks on this site for a day or two of some fishing which is great. But for the most part i am a home body now.  Hell last year i  made it as far as Cayuga county!  Shooting for Lewis county next year!  lol 

 I got real sick of going out to bars and raising hell quickly out of my 20's as i ended up being the peacemaker, babysitter, or bouncer, most of the time and that got old quick. Have a buddy in VA i havent visited in a long time, and should do that.  But he has kids and they are all in sports and hes a coach etc...  time gets more valuable the older you get.  Got one close friend 10 minutes away and i havent seen him in two years,  but he has 5 kids and a busy job.  Most of the times i get together with friends now is on the boat.  Which an early morn on the water is also easier for people to get a away for a few hours too. 

    

 

Edited January 20, 2022 by Robhuntandfish

[UpStateRedNeck]

Maybe this is just a by product of working in/going to school for/having friends also in IT.  The vast majority are just straight up nerds.  But they don't even play much in the way of games anymore.  Just "Hey what shows are you watching?"  

I get that the people I went to college/had an apartment with will never be into the hunting scene, that's my thing.  I'm not asking them to drive 12 hours to see a show like the old days, I'm talking a show, with seating, in the spring, less than 30 minutes from where they live.  Most likely home by midnight.  It's frickin discouraging.

 

Anybody in the Smallbany area want to go see the 'Knot?  

[sbuff]

And cypress hill ..

I heard tickets were on the pricey side

[Jeremy K]

11 minutes ago, sbuff said:

And cypress hill ..

I heard tickets were on the pricey side

Arnt they touring with slipknot this year ? That would be one hell of a show to see .

[knehrke]

I've had this conversation with nearly all of my friends, who are not necessarily the same group that I used to pal around with when I was younger than my current 54 years. It's a tough pill to swallow. You spend countless hours developing bonds when you're young and have the time (but usually not the money lol), then those hours gradually become minutes, often over social media rather than in person or in the field. I own a boat with a buddy of mine; he didn't even set foot on it this summer. It's just life, I guess. And the dirty secret is that you will never replace all those buds from your early years. It just gets harder to develop deep friendships as you get older, because we're all so busy and committed and maybe a little bit dead inside lol. So value what you have. You may go years without interacting appreciably with one of your old friends, then suddenly they become a part of your life again. Or so we hope.

[UpStateRedNeck]

Just now, Jeremy K said:

Arnt they touring with slipknot this year ? That would be one hell of a show to see .

Thats what I'm saying!  Seen the knot a bunch of times, haven't ever seen Cypress.  In the 'knick that is an instant contact high.

[UpStateRedNeck]

17 minutes ago, sbuff said:

And cypress hill ..

I heard tickets were on the pricey side

No kidding, I think they're doing their stick it to you pre-sale stuff right now:

[Robhuntandfish]

Maybe buy some of these delicious Gummies advertised here and like snake oil everyone will be full of energy again! 

[Bolt action]

My thoughts going along with what most people are saying.. as I get older, family, work and life tend to get in the way of getting out like I used to. Part of the change in dynamic is on me though. As I get older (only 40..), my preferences change. I've got a buddy who's mid-40's and single and still likes to get out to catch a band as often as he can. He'll call me up on an hour's notice. I tend to decline because I need to find a babysitter and can't on an hour's notice. My wife could watch the kids, but depending on how she's feeling, that's not always an option. Along with that though, between the babysitter, food and booze, I'm looking at spending $150-200 bucks on a band that I probably don't like (usually 80's cover bands), staying up past my sleepy time, and losing half of the next day because I went out the night before. That's just not me anymore. Another aspect of the live shows though is that my taste in music has changed. When I was in high school, I went to hundreds, maybe thousands of shows. I went to everything from garage punk at the Water Street Music Hall to the Warped Tour at LaSalle Park to Woodstock at Griffis AFB. If it was a live show and was in WNY, I was there. Now I'd rather head over to SPAC or CMAC for Rascall Flats, Little Big Town or Toby Keith. Tastes change, people change. It's life.

[Nomad]

My only complaint with seeing bar bands is they start to late,  often 10 .

I have a Nephew here who plays in a pretty popular county band ,  “Branded “ , but a 10 o’clock start on the other side of the city is a no go for me . 

[crappyice]

The world also got much bigger and easier. I have a handful of “brothers” from HS. 1 lives in Colorado, 1 in Maryland, and 1 local. Back in the day, everyone stayed out so HS continued through college, work and life.

Staying in the theme of “Did you see ____ on TV” Those Peogressive “new home owner” commercials are AMAZING. My kids love To point out which one is more me although most are exactly me!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[suburbanfarmer]

1 hour ago, Kmartinson said:

We have our own path to follow now. Luckily, I find myself with my kids doing the things I used to do with my buddies. I'm also fortunate to have such an amazing supportive wife.

Yup my 9 yr old daughter is my hunting buddy. If she had her way she would be out there everyday

Edited January 20, 2022 by suburbanfarmer

[BizCT]

2 hours ago, Jeremy K said:

I've gotten pretty lame since I had kids . A few members here have witnessed the younger version of me peak out once or twice.

I thought we were just getting warmed up.

[sbuff]

I thought I was the only one who still called it the knickerbocker 

[Four Seasons]

1 hour ago, Robhuntandfish said:

Maybe buy some of these delicious Gummies advertised here and like snake oil everyone will be full of energy again! 

Or better yet…Make your own!!   Stay in Control.